I Survive

Throughout my life

I fall

I rise

I live

I learn

I survive

Against life’s tapestry

Taking forward strides

In my darkest moments

I stop

I retreat

I isolate

I cry

I still survive

Detours, destinations, love, loss and lies

Along this unforgiving path

Alone or with allies

I keep trying

My journey started with trauma

I have looked evil in the eyes

I have overcome those that tried to take my life

I have been abandoned

Completely cast aside by those that gave me life

I have prepared to die numerous times

I have been cut apart

I have been embedded with foreign parts

Broken, stitched together and cauterized

I did survive

But along the way

I have experienced many wonderful times

I have seen a child brought into this world

I have held the hand of someone leaving this life

I have felt a love that never dies

I have seen the world through someone else’s eyes

I have laid under a million stars across the night sky

I have been lost and found

I have found my voice

I have realized my strength

I have learned forgiveness

I have seen many beautiful scenes

I have survived

Across this fragile thing called life

I stand

I live

I fight

These scars represent the battles I’ve won

The pain serves as my battle cry

A warrior

I ALWAYS SURVIVE

 

What do you see
What Do You See

Let it Be

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Let there be storms

In the darkness

Let it be me that you cling to

As the thunder echos

Let it be my heart you feel pounding

When lightning ignites the night sky

Let it be my face you look to

As the rain creates a saturating lullaby upon the window pane

Let it be me calming you with loves melody

Let there be storms

Let it be me

Lumii_20200304_130906119

Burning Grief


Pouring it out
Like gasoline
Onto embers

Discarded reflections
Tossed over
Sorting it all out

Striking the match
Igniting pain
Pieces engulfed
Burning it down

Shattered
Completely hollow
Lost or profound

Crackling grief

The sound of healing
Stoking memories
Smoke billows peace
Breathing relief

Slate wiped clean
Ashes floating
Carrying secrets hidden deep
Therapeutic release

Speaking Seductively

Despite the distance
I hear it
My body pleads
Undeniable control
Delicious and magical quality

How he speaks
Deep tones
Passionate pauses
Drawn out words
So pleasing

Aching to be
An indescribable urgency
Sensual need

To experience
Him
A consuming fantasy

His
For the taking

Exclusively

Farewell

How is it possible
Intensely deep
Heartbreaking
Beautifully devastating

But why

You were never even mine
I fell in love with the words
Imagined reality

An illusion
Illustrated by you
Embodied by me

Our story isn’t over
To be continued
In another time

Farewell for now

Future dreams
For I know
Someday
You
Will
Be
Mine

Flight of Heart

I held it in
It was hard but I managed
Inside I was breaking
But I smiled

Just a little boy heading off on an adventure
You will always be that little boy to me
As the flight attendant took your hand
I gripped tight to my emotions
A mother’s love
Ensuring you didn’t see

No tears would fall
Heading towards the plane
Your back to me
I stood waiting

All my effort focused on holding back the emotions
Just before you were out of sight
You turned back to me
Those eyes
Fear and uncertainty

Again I smiled
That reassuring glow
Just enough
You smiled back
A little wave

To say, I’m ok Mom

Then you were gone
A sigh release
For I could no longer control the emotions bubbling up inside me
With tears streaming down my face
Unable to compose myself
I walked away

Through the airport
Where we had both arrived
I now walked alone
And I cried

I don’t remember the drive home
I do remember feeling so alone
The house was silent
I waited for your call
The phone finally rang
It was you
You made it there safely

The next 2 weeks
Seemed like an eternity
But before I knew it
I was back at the airport
Impatiently waiting

I caught a glimpse
My little boy
Running full speed
Tears again in my eyes

You missed me too
Big hugs
Lots of smiles

My sweet boy
Momma loves you
And is so happy for you to be back home with her tonight.

My Heart

Patience

Fantasizing
Touch
Taste
Sound of pleasures sigh

Her hair brushing my body
Whispers of delight
The rise and fall of her chest
Breathing desire

Curves of her body caressed by moonlight
Exquisite beauty
Undressed in my mind

I wait with patience
Knowing
She will be mine

In Bold Ink

 Crafted perfectly
 Leading me
 Kissed intrigue
 Hinting pleasure
 Words enticing
 Seductive quality
 Tempting sexual greed
 Flirting fantasy
 He knows
 I see
 Sublime reverie
 His pen
 Pressed deep
 Stroking sheets
 Duplicate lines
 Writing me
 In
      Bold
                Ink
 

Becoming Fragile

Ever changing story
Hidden amongst deceit
Shaded memories
Meticulously painted
Carefully swaying perceptions of who she use to be
Self serving quality
Imprinted deep
Blue, purple & green
Scars left unseen
Reminding me
There use to be truth
Distorted so prettily


Yours

Watching
I slowly remove each piece
Discarded clothes
You studying every curve
Beautiful fantasy
Your gaze reflects need
My body
My soul
My offering
Yours to keep
Command me
Lead me
Guiding desire
Submissive perfection
I
Am
Yours
Exquisitely
 
 

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