Ignited Fantasy

This feeling is uncomfortable
Yet intriguing at the same time
Everything inside me is screaming
Touch me
Walk away
Hold me
No run
Take me
Leave me
Want me for the beautiful disaster that I am

I’m torn between the depths of this exploration
More at peace living just on the surface
Fascination compels me to let go and move forward
I’m just not sure I can
My heart racing
I don’t understand
Am I overthinking it
How would I walk away
This could be my chance
What am I doing
Carelessly falling
Or
Sucking on the barrel of a loaded gun

I am more accustomed to feeling comfortably numb
This is not who I’ve ever been
How did I get here
Am I really that dumb
I’m just being reckless
Maybe even stupid
I can’t or maybe I don’t want to understand
Never have I surrendered
Too strong
Too loyal
Too stubborn
Too broken
No one would ever love who I really am
A beautiful angel
A devil within
I’ve be hiding so long
But he makes me feel weak
No one has ever cared
I just needed to be who they thought I am
It’s all exhausting

My emotions are going crazy
Why now
I don’t do emotional
Fuck how is this happening
Why not yesterday
I can’t understand
Maybe I’ve said too much
Perhaps I haven’t said enough
Second guessing every word
Why did I open up
Why did I let him in
Will he use it all against me
Or will he be the one that finally understands

Be patient but please see
I’ve never let anyone this close
And the thought of it being gone in an instant is more than I could stand

What is it
Why this man
Why do I crave him so deeply
Drifting between fantasy & reality
His lips on mine
His hands around my waist
He picks me up


There is nothing between us
Not even the sunlight could penetrate through the lack of space
Against the wall
Nothing could break us apart
He thrust himself inside me
All that can be heard is the moaning
Our sweat has intertwined
Covering us
It’s dripping and slowly tracing my body
The raw passion completely consuming us
His smell makes me want more


I taste him
This is heaven
A secret known only to us
Days turn to night and we are still completely entangled in one another
He devours me completely
Never getting enough
This is the way I want forever to end

※※※※


xoxo
♥ Me
3/26/2018
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Anxiety

As I lay here
On steady ground
I feel it beginning
There is no escaping

I turn to my stomach
As if to hold on tighter
And brace harder for the impact
Every muscle in my body tensing
My heart pounding against the ground
The silence is deafening
As the sunshine takes my sight

I keep pushing
Its not helping
I can feel it coming
I close my eyes

Still edging closer
As the thoughts race to the surface
Vivid scenes quickly flash through my mind

I can’t stop it
Not this time
Extremely uncomfortable
Both body & mind
It has a way of resurfacing at the wrong time
As if it can sense my vulnerability


I should know this
As soon as I stop running
It arrives
Running from the horror
Desperately seeking me Chasing me
Just waiting
In my tortured little mind

xoxo
♥️me
7/5/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Kindness is Free

While you are judging
Others are suffering
Silence is a killer
Implanting fear

We all just want to be accepted
Be kind
If negativity leads your words
Don’t speak
Just listen
Sometimes that’s all that is needed
It could save a life
Something so simple
Hearing the words that we are scared to say
Tremendous impact

Fear
Shame
Self doubt
Judgment
These will love us to death

You have the opportunity to help someone
Unconditional love
Complete acceptance
Aren’t we all seeking the same

Be the change
Empower
Inspire
Accept without limitations


xoxo
♥️me
8/15/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

I See

I can hear it
The violence in his tone
The anger in his expression
The intensity in his stance
The hate in the words unspoken

I just met you but I see you
The you that is cleverly hidden
It’s not
You’re not
I feel it
I see it
I sense every bad piece of who you are

I possess a innate ability to read between the versions of you being presented with a smile

Trauma does that
A little gift, I wish I never received
The broken pieces
The broken inside of me
They see

xoxo
♥️me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
7/29/2019

Darkness and Moonlight

Under the glow of a brightly lit crimson moon she found herself lost
Lost in the magnificence
Lost in the glory of its stunning brightness
Lost in the simple beauty of nature’s nightlight
Lost in a world around her
Lost is the time that seemed to stand still
Lost in a memory
Lost in how it made her feel
Lost in the silence
Lost in the memories
She was coming undone
This time she would not run
Standing
Embracing
The darkness she had always feared
Uncomfortable but a place she very well knows
That moment she made a choice
Forgiveness
Forgiving those apologies that she never heard
Forgiving those that didn’t deserve it
Forgiving herself for harboring hate
Under the big crimson moon she found forgiveness
She released her demons and took back control
She released the horror of that pain
Her truth is now spoken
The words set free
Floating somewhere in the atmosphere and no longer confined in her mind

xoxo
♥️me
7/18/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Sound of Memories


A melody that echos her presence
Orchestrated by the breeze
Soft tones ring
Amplified hard pings
Cascading notes
Bellowed tings
Amazing compilation
The sound of memories
Once her wind chimes
Now my private symphony

xoxo
♥️me
7/24/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Curiosity

I don’t know how
I dont know why
All I know is, I want to keep going

Call it my curiosity
Say it’s the bad part of me

Tell me I’m wrong
It feels so right

Say I should move on
I won’t, but at least you will have tried

Say it’s not how you feel
Say the words to push me away
Neither of us believe it
Right or wrong
I cannot walk away

Too much love circling my brain
I won’t go on without you
Not even one more day

It’s not a game
My heart aches for you
A love that can’t be tamed
Wild and free
Crazy and insane
Can’t think about that right now
Just please tell me you feel the same

I need to know if you’re that missing piece
True love
Real connection
Lustful want
Dynamic need
Complete surrender
Embracing all of me

Just answer me please

Are you my forever
Are you my destiny
Are you my eternity
Are you mine
Are we together

xoxo
♥️me
7/18/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme

Mine

It’s all so surreal 

Constantly battling between the real world and the one that awakens every part of my being 

Unexpected excitement, a new love that is teaching me to feel

Just once I want to follow my heart and let it lead me to you

Forget everything else and be carelessly in the moment 

Drown in your love, your passion, your arms

If there was an alternate place

I would choose you first

I would never let go

You would be mine

I would be yours

xoxo
♥️me
4/18/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme

Visions of Me

Look around
What do you see
Only a glimpse
No just fragments really
Your perspective adds to the illusion of who you think I should be
I am not your project

This is my life
I am just trying to be me
I am carefully treading through the judgement
But have you ever realized
You are completely missing the true depth that is me

The beauty I possess
The strength I bring
The loyalty I offer
The honesty in me
The passion ignited by me
The adventurous person I can be
The love that encompasses me
The patience I give freely

Each seeing something different
A mixture of the pieces Combined to reveal all of me
Tiny fragments revealed that I allow to be seen
There are a million different versions of me
Each person thinks of me differently
Too many expectations
I simply can’t be everything they each need me to be

It all comes down to a few things really
The real me
My Visions
The Distorted perceptions
Finding what truly ignites my soul
Letting my passion take a hold

Will the future present a more polished version of me
Nuture or nature
I guess we just have to wait and see

I will not allow their snapshot view to influence the greatness hiding amongst the broken pieces inside of me


xoxo
♥️me
4/17/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme

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