As I lay here
On steady ground
I feel it beginning
There is no escaping

I turn to my stomach
As if to hold on tighter
And brace harder for the impact
Every muscle in my body tensing
My heart pounding against the ground
The silence is deafening
As the sunshine takes my sight

I keep pushing
Its not helping
I can feel it coming
I close my eyes

Still edging closer
As the thoughts race to the surface
Vivid scenes quickly flash through my mind

I can’t stop it
Not this time
Extremely uncomfortable
Both body & mind
It has a way of resurfacing at the wrong time
As if it can sense my vulnerability

I should know this
As soon as I stop running
It arrives
Running from the horror
Desperately seeking me Chasing me
Just waiting
In my tortured little mind


Kindness is Free

While you are judging
Others are suffering
Silence is a killer
Implanting fear

We all just want to be accepted
Be kind
If negativity leads your words
Don’t speak
Just listen
Sometimes that’s all that is needed
It could save a life
Something so simple
Hearing the words that we are scared to say
Tremendous impact

Self doubt
These will love us to death

You have the opportunity to help someone
Unconditional love
Complete acceptance
Aren’t we all seeking the same

Be the change
Accept without limitations


I See

I can hear it
The violence in his tone
The anger in his expression
The intensity in his stance
The hate in the words unspoken

I just met you but I see you
The you that is cleverly hidden
It’s not
You’re not
I feel it
I see it
I sense every bad piece of who you are

I possess a innate ability to read between the versions of you being presented with a smile

Trauma does that
A little gift, I wish I never received
The broken pieces
The broken inside of me
They see


Darkness and Moonlight

Under the glow of a brightly lit crimson moon she found herself lost
Lost in the magnificence
Lost in the glory of its stunning brightness
Lost in the simple beauty of nature’s nightlight
Lost in a world around her
Lost is the time that seemed to stand still
Lost in a memory
Lost in how it made her feel
Lost in the silence
Lost in the memories
She was coming undone
This time she would not run
The darkness she had always feared
Uncomfortable but a place she very well knows
That moment she made a choice
Forgiving those apologies that she never heard
Forgiving those that didn’t deserve it
Forgiving herself for harboring hate
Under the big crimson moon she found forgiveness
She released her demons and took back control
She released the horror of that pain
Her truth is now spoken
The words set free
Floating somewhere in the atmosphere and no longer confined in her mind


Sound of Memories

A melody that echos her presence
Orchestrated by the breeze
Soft tones ring
Amplified hard pings
Cascading notes
Bellowed tings
Amazing compilation
The sound of memories
Once her wind chimes
Now my private symphony



I don’t know how
I dont know why
All I know is, I want to keep going

Call it my curiosity
Say it’s the bad part of me

Tell me I’m wrong
It feels so right

Say I should move on
I won’t, but at least you will have tried

Say it’s not how you feel
Say the words to push me away
Neither of us believe it
Right or wrong
I cannot walk away

Too much love circling my brain
I won’t go on without you
Not even one more day

It’s not a game
My heart aches for you
A love that can’t be tamed
Wild and free
Crazy and insane
Can’t think about that right now
Just please tell me you feel the same

I need to know if you’re that missing piece
True love
Real connection
Lustful want
Dynamic need
Complete surrender
Embracing all of me

Just answer me please

Are you my forever
Are you my destiny
Are you my eternity
Are you mine
Are we together



It’s all so surreal 

Constantly battling between the real world and the one that awakens every part of my being 

Unexpected excitement, a new love that is teaching me to feel

Just once I want to follow my heart and let it lead me to you

Forget everything else and be carelessly in the moment 

Drown in your love, your passion, your arms

If there was an alternate place

I would choose you first

I would never let go

You would be mine

I would be yours


Visions of Me

Look around
What do you see
Only a glimpse
No just fragments really
Your perspective adds to the illusion of who you think I should be
I am not your project

This is my life
I am just trying to be me
I am carefully treading through the judgement
But have you ever realized
You are completely missing the true depth that is me

The beauty I possess
The strength I bring
The loyalty I offer
The honesty in me
The passion ignited by me
The adventurous person I can be
The love that encompasses me
The patience I give freely

Each seeing something different
A mixture of the pieces Combined to reveal all of me
Tiny fragments revealed that I allow to be seen
There are a million different versions of me
Each person thinks of me differently
Too many expectations
I simply can’t be everything they each need me to be

It all comes down to a few things really
The real me
My Visions
The Distorted perceptions
Finding what truly ignites my soul
Letting my passion take a hold

Will the future present a more polished version of me
Nuture or nature
I guess we just have to wait and see

I will not allow their snapshot view to influence the greatness hiding amongst the broken pieces inside of me


I Believe

I see you
I know you feel defeated
I see your struggle
I know you are running
I see you chasing your dreams
I know they are just out of your reach
I see you, don’t give up
I know you can keep going
I see that you are stronger than you believe
I know you are greater than what you have achieved
I see you comparing
I know you are your only competition
I see you despite what you believe

I see
I know
You are
You can
You will

I believe in you


My Future

Unlike anyone he had ever seen before
Who was this woman standing before him in a black suit and white button up shirt and his attention quickly settled on her black leather stilettos that had tightly drawn lacing that wrapped around her ankles

Her presence intrigued him
Her authoritative tone
Commanded his attention
He only wanted to please her
He didn’t even know her or her name
He didn’t even know how but
wanted too learn more

Beneath her tough facade was a broken little girl standing where a grown woman should
He could see the anguish in those dark brown eyes
They shimmered with hope despite her attempts to keep it concealed

Who hurt you, he thought to himself as he noticed the scars across her neck that she was desperately trying to hide

For a fleeting second, they stood silent searching deep in one another’s eyes
Unimaginably lost and surprising found

After a brief moment of complete silence, she caught herself suddenly and in an instant those protective walls went back into place
Her disposition shifted before his eyes
But he was still looking right in those big beautiful brown eyes
“What are you looking at!”, she barked
Without hesitation or skipping a beat, the words flowed from his mouth
“My future”, he proclaimed
Both shocked at the sound of the words spoken

They stood in silence
But they both already knew
Nothing would ever be the same

That was their moment
And they are still together and she now has his last name


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