Ignited Fantasy

This feeling is uncomfortable
Yet intriguing at the same time
Everything inside me is screaming
Touch me
Walk away
Hold me
No run
Take me
Leave me
Want me for the beautiful disaster that I am

I’m torn between the depths of this exploration
More at peace living just on the surface
Fascination compels me to let go and move forward
I’m just not sure I can
My heart racing
I don’t understand
Am I overthinking it
How would I walk away
This could be my chance
What am I doing
Carelessly falling
Or
Sucking on the barrel of a loaded gun

I am more accustomed to feeling comfortably numb
This is not who I’ve ever been
How did I get here
Am I really that dumb
I’m just being reckless
Maybe even stupid
I can’t or maybe I don’t want to understand
Never have I surrendered
Too strong
Too loyal
Too stubborn
Too broken
No one would ever love who I really am
A beautiful angel
A devil within
I’ve be hiding so long
But he makes me feel weak
No one has ever cared
I just needed to be who they thought I am
It’s all exhausting

My emotions are going crazy
Why now
I don’t do emotional
Fuck how is this happening
Why not yesterday
I can’t understand
Maybe I’ve said too much
Perhaps I haven’t said enough
Second guessing every word
Why did I open up
Why did I let him in
Will he use it all against me
Or will he be the one that finally understands

Be patient but please see
I’ve never let anyone this close
And the thought of it being gone in an instant is more than I could stand

What is it
Why this man
Why do I crave him so deeply
Drifting between fantasy & reality
His lips on mine
His hands around my waist
He picks me up


There is nothing between us
Not even the sunlight could penetrate through the lack of space
Against the wall
Nothing could break us apart
He thrust himself inside me
All that can be heard is the moaning
Our sweat has intertwined
Covering us
It’s dripping and slowly tracing my body
The raw passion completely consuming us
His smell makes me want more


I taste him
This is heaven
A secret known only to us
Days turn to night and we are still completely entangled in one another
He devours me completely
Never getting enough
This is the way I want forever to end

※※※※


xoxo
♥ Me
3/26/2018
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

I Choose Me

 

You promised me so many things

Tired of forcing this

Constantly struggling

You made me believe

I should have known

I was never enough

I will never live up to your expectations of who I should be

If you could look back

Reflect on the silence

All the times I was at my weakest

I took a chance

I finally spoke

And you used it against me

No longer the person I use to be

Once Strong, now weak

I am nothing and everything to you

All I ever wanted was to just be me

Tired of drowning in this misery

Pretending we are happy

It’s time

I choose me

xoxo

♥me

9/14/2019

Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Finality

I feel it all
Empathy betrays me
Ambience heavy
Shadows of grief
Death’s gift

Heartbreaking silence
Gone are the tomorrows
All that remains are memories

Tears are the words
My heart can’t speak

Rest in peace Uncle Leo

xoxo
♥️me
9/3/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Drifting

The waves crash over me
Stark reality
Impending grief
Soothed by the ocean
Hesitation provides relief
Drowning in the mystery
Surfacing
Catching my breath
Sinking deep
Moving with ease
Tranquility saturating me
Pulling me under
Captive of peace
Resolution breaks around me
Swimming with the emotions
Glossy water rippling
Reflecting images
Splashing visions
Floating reminders
My thoughts
Drifting at sea

xoxo
♥️me
9/1/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com


Already Gone

The rain falls

Echos of yesterday

Replaying moments lost

Words spoken in haste

Piercing my heart

Crushing my soul

Deteriorating compassion

Forgotten loves embrace

Intolerable presence

Resentment and hate

Shadows passing

Screams of sorrow

Repeated disdain

Tear stained cheeks

Secrets written on your face

Already gone

Love faded

Memories tainted

xoxo

♥️ me

8/25/2019

Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Your Kiss

Kiss on fire
Heat set free
Sparks entertain
Urge in flames
Your kiss
My lips
Passion’s intensity
From smoldering to a blaze
Embers wanting more
Ignited
Your kiss
My lips
Your body pressed against mine
Tongues entangled
Seductive bites
Your kiss
My lips
Torching desire
Perfection
Lighting need
Glowing
Fiery
Ravenous
Your kiss
My lips

xoxo
♥️me
8/22/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Years Go Bye

Another year
Another number
More memories
More adventures
Added value
Added perspective

Another lesson
Another loss
Less hate
Less pain

I’ve laughed hard
I’ve cried
I’ve questioned everything
I’ve wondered why
I’ve searched for peace
I’ve found clarity
I’ve given of myself
I’ve held the hand of someone that died
I’ve comforted a friend
I’ve listened
I’ve hurt
I’ve changed
I’ve grown
I’ve gained
I’ve been enough
I’ve felt
I’ve loved hard
I’ve let go of hate
I’ve tried my best
I’ve felt insane
I’ve found my path
I’ve lived for me
I’ve given my all
I’ve been loved eternally

So I say, happy birthday to me, thank you for the time, thank you for your part, if you don’t know it yet, I love you with all my heart

xoxo
♥️me
8/9/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme com



Addictive

More than she appears to be
Exuding electricity with a touch
A combination of strength and energy
A mind, that hungers for knowledge
Her body, a sexual fantasy
A soul that’s timid and sweet

Your biggest adventure
Your wildest dream
Lost is your thoughts
Intense pleasure is your present
Taming your demons
Comforting your pain
An addiction
You’ll never be the same

xoxo
♥️me
8/9/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

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