Forever

Forever

Standing in the pain
Lost direction
Continue ahead for more of the same
Turn and walk away
I remain lost with no direction
I inch along the path seeking clarity

Dark
Damp
Gloomy
My existence
The choices before me
The path ahead
All practically the same

Lost in thought
The weather mimics my emotions
Rain drops fall
The tears follow
Each serving a purpose
Repairing, healing and growing
Washing the slate clean

Detour ahead for the heart, body and soul

Forever

A word used often
Doesn’t always play out as it is defined to mean
Interpreting it has a way of meaning two different things

I Survive

Throughout my life

I fall

I rise

I live

I learn

I survive

Against life’s tapestry

Taking forward strides

In my darkest moments

I stop

I retreat

I isolate

I cry

I still survive

Detours, destinations, love, loss and lies

Along this unforgiving path

Alone or with allies

I keep trying

My journey started with trauma

I have looked evil in the eyes

I have overcome those that tried to take my life

I have been abandoned

Completely cast aside by those that gave me life

I have prepared to die numerous times

I have been cut apart

I have been embedded with foreign parts

Broken, stitched together and cauterized

I did survive

But along the way

I have experienced many wonderful times

I have seen a child brought into this world

I have held the hand of someone leaving this life

I have felt a love that never dies

I have seen the world through someone else’s eyes

I have laid under a million stars across the night sky

I have been lost and found

I have found my voice

I have realized my strength

I have learned forgiveness

I have seen many beautiful scenes

I have survived

Across this fragile thing called life

I stand

I live

I fight

These scars represent the battles I’ve won

The pain serves as my battle cry

A warrior

I ALWAYS SURVIVE

 

What do you see
What Do You See

Christmas Shenanigans

5am Christmas Morning 2018

Twas the night before Christmas out in the country
Everyone was sleeping Snoring can be heard all through the house
My gun close by if I were to see a mouse

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care
I hope this yummy chocolate candy wasn’t meant to go in there

Out in the hall I made a big clatter
Gathering all the necessities for a little late night platter

It was a long drive here
And a few cappuccinos has me wired up so sleep is not near

Visions of family time, gifts and snacks
While trying to remain focused while driving
Singing and dodging all the deer

Now that I think about it I could really go for a beer
So out on the porch I sit listening to the sounds
Staring at the stars
Freezing my ass off even with all my layered winter gear


Pretty sure I hear a pig, or a coyote, maybe a deer
But it’s totally normal in these types of towns

I wonder if there are any bears
Gasp, OMG the chupacabra could also live here
Well frick
I hope not
If I’m not seen in the morning I probably wandered off in search of the perfect lighting to capture photos of creatures near

The thing about the silence Any and all noise definitely travels around
I’m almost certain the rustle of my late night snacks have already awakened
The 5 people that live in this town

XOXO Taylor Grace

His Words

His words
Tinted seductively
Full bodied
Aroma thick
Encompassing me

Between the lines
Dappled desire
Melting hues
Vivid intimacy

I spiral

On the edge of my lips
In shades of pink
Whispering

“I am yours”

Deserted

I wander quietly on a deserted beach

Tides of emotions caress me

Love crashing against the sea

Bitter chill in the breeze

A million thoughts

Questioning everything

🖤

The truth

It was real

It’s done

Heartache’s silent embrace

Gift of Finality


Goddess

Hiding in the shadows
Ghost of fantasy
Tied to submission
Captive of primal curiosity
Deviant hauntings
Crypt of fantasies beneath
Sublime desirability
Dominant greed
Slowing infiltrating
The pleasure you seek
Let it lead you to me
Goddess in waiting




Alone

Which version do you prefer me to be?

The me that doesn’t always suit you quite so perfectly

The me that fits your perception of who I should be

The me who never has moments of weakness that brings me to my knees

It is difficult trying to be who everyone wants me to be

One day I’m going to only have myself to please

I reach out for your hand, repeatedly waiting just for someone to understand

Love me

Hate me

There is no in between

I understand though because I feel the same things

I’ve spent my whole life just trying to breathe

Still to this day I run, I hide, driving around aimlessly in an attempt to ignore the brokenness that is inside

The only thing I really need is someone to listen and comfort the pieces that are me

I know they say love comes with a cost

Maybe I’m just tired of feeling so damn lost

Not feeling accepted has taken a toll on me

Devastation added on top of the underlying pain

Nothing I can do but sit holding no one accountable

What else would you expect me to do

I turn it all inside

Carrying all the burdens

Hiding all the shame

Running from the memories

At the end of the day I have no one to blame

It’s ok though because I know that pain

I feel invisible

Nothing to lose

Oh wait, that’s right

That’s when I get told I don’t have a clue

I wonder if I’ve ever really showed anyone who I really am

My broken pieces run far too deep

Inside my demons constantly keeping me from sleep

Continually re-victimized by the very same voices that keep feeding me lies

Just when I feel I can’t hold on one more day, it occurs to me that no one is coming to save me and it doesn’t even matter if I were to walk away

All the labels and judgment

Fill my ears

But again no one knows the shell of a woman standing in front of them

Too sensitive

Too bossy

Too picky

Too upset

Too cautious

Too angry

Too hurt

Too organized

Too right

Too wrong

Too isolated

Too weak

Too strong

Too emotional

Too tired

Too sexy

Too much

Too difficult

Too quiet

Too old

Too kind

Too loud

Too thoughtful

Too busy

Too hyper

Too complicated

Too Broken

Surrounded by all the voices

Seeming so intrigued

Fascinated by my words and wisdom

They like me

They love me

Oops once again I’ve been misled

They were only passing the time

And never again thought of me

Have you ever truly felt this alone?


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