His Words

His words
Tinted seductively
Full bodied
Aroma thick
Encompassing me

Between the lines
Dappled desire
Melting hues
Vivid intimacy

I spiral

On the edge of my lips
In shades of pink
Whispering

“I am yours”

Deserted

I wander quietly on a deserted beach

Tides of emotions caress me

Love crashing against the sea

Bitter chill in the breeze

A million thoughts

Questioning everything

🖤

The truth

It was real

It’s done

Heartache’s silent embrace

Gift of Finality


Goddess

Hiding in the shadows
Ghost of fantasy
Tied to submission
Captive of primal curiosity
Deviant hauntings
Crypt of fantasies beneath
Sublime desirability
Dominant greed
Slowing infiltrating
The pleasure you seek
Let it lead you to me
Goddess in waiting




Alone

Which version do you prefer me to be?

The me that doesn’t always suit you quite so perfectly

The me that fits your perception of who I should be

The me who never has moments of weakness that brings me to my knees

It is difficult trying to be who everyone wants me to be

One day I’m going to only have myself to please

I reach out for your hand, repeatedly waiting just for someone to understand

Love me

Hate me

There is no in between

I understand though because I feel the same things

I’ve spent my whole life just trying to breathe

Still to this day I run, I hide, driving around aimlessly in an attempt ignore the brokenness that is inside

The only thing I really need is someone to listen and comfort the pieces that are me

I know they say love comes with a cost Maybe I’m just tired of feeling so damn lost

Not feeling accepted has taken a toll on me

Devastation added on top of the underlying pain

Nothing I can do but sit holding no one accountable

What else would you expect me to do

I turn it all inside

Carrying all the burdens

Hiding all the shame

Running from the memories

At the end of the day I have no one to blame

It’s ok though because I know that pain

I feel invisible

Nothing to lose

Oh wait, that’s right

That’s when I get told I don’t have a clue

I wonder if I’ve ever really showed anyone who I really am

My broken pieces run far to deep

Inside my demons constantly keeping me from sleep

Continually re-victimized by the very same voices that keep feeding me lies

Just when I feel I can’t hold on one more day, it occurs to me that no one is coming to save me and it doesn’t even matter if I were to walk away

All the labels and judgment

Fill my ears

But again no one knows the shell of a woman standing in front of them

Too sensitive

Too bossy

Too picky

Too upset

Too cautious

Too angry

Too hurt

Too organized

Too right

Too wrong

Too isolated

Too weak

Too strong

Too emotional

Too tired

Too sexy

Too much

Too difficult

Too quiet

Too old

Too kind

Too loud

Too thoughtful

Too busy

Too hyper

Too complicated

Too Broken

Surrounded by all the voices

Seeming so intrigued

Fascinated by my words & wisdom

They like me

They love me

Oops once again I’ve been misled

They were only passing the time

And never again thought of me

Have you ever truly felt this alone?


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Art

Her Canvas
Crisp
White
Paper
Void of any Markings

Her Artistry
Words
Painted into Poetry

Her Instrument
Fine
Tipped
Pen
Jet Black Ink

Her Purpose
Dig
Down
Deep
Share and Release

The Affect
Reflection
Clarity
Healing
Finding Her Voice

Ignited Fantasy

This feeling is uncomfortable
Yet intriguing at the same time
Everything inside me is screaming
Touch me
Walk away
Hold me
No run
Take me
Leave me
Want me for the beautiful disaster that I am

I’m torn between the depths of this exploration
More at peace living just on the surface
Fascination compels me to let go and move forward
I’m just not sure I can
My heart racing
I don’t understand
Am I overthinking it
How would I walk away
This could be my chance
What am I doing
Carelessly falling
Or
Sucking on the barrel of a loaded gun

I am more accustomed to feeling comfortably numb
This is not who I’ve ever been
How did I get here
Am I really that dumb
I’m just being reckless
Maybe even stupid
I can’t or maybe I don’t want to understand
Never have I surrendered
Too strong
Too loyal
Too stubborn
Too broken
No one would ever love who I really am
A beautiful angel
A devil within
I’ve be hiding so long
But he makes me feel weak
No one has ever cared
I just needed to be who they thought I am
It’s all exhausting

My emotions are going crazy
Why now
I don’t do emotional
Fuck how is this happening
Why not yesterday
I can’t understand
Maybe I’ve said too much
Perhaps I haven’t said enough
Second guessing every word
Why did I open up
Why did I let him in
Will he use it all against me
Or will he be the one that finally understands

Be patient but please see
I’ve never let anyone this close
And the thought of it being gone in an instant is more than I could stand

What is it
Why this man
Why do I crave him so deeply
Drifting between fantasy & reality
His lips on mine
His hands around my waist
He picks me up


There is nothing between us
Not even the sunlight could penetrate through the lack of space
Against the wall
Nothing could break us apart
He thrust himself inside me
All that can be heard is the moaning
Our sweat has intertwined
Covering us
It’s dripping and slowly tracing my body
The raw passion completely consuming us
His smell makes me want more


I taste him
This is heaven
A secret known only to us
Days turn to night and we are still completely entangled in one another
He devours me completely
Never getting enough
This is the way I want forever to end

※※※※


xoxo
♥ Me
3/26/2018
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

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