Standing in the pain Lost direction Continue ahead for more of the same Turn and walk away I remain lost with no direction I inch along the path seeking clarity
Dark Damp Gloomy My existence The choices before me The path ahead All practically the same
Lost in thought The weather mimics my emotions Rain drops fall The tears follow Each serving a purpose Repairing, healing and growing Washing the slate clean
Detour ahead for the heart, body and soul
Forever
A word used often Doesn’t always play out as it is defined to mean Interpreting it has a way of meaning two different things
Twas the night before Christmas out in the country Everyone was sleeping Snoring can be heard all through the house My gun close by if I were to see a mouse
The stockings are hung by the chimney with care I hope this yummy chocolate candy wasn’t meant to go in there
Out in the hall I made a big clatter Gathering all the necessities for a little late night platter
It was a long drive here And a few cappuccinos has me wired up so sleep is not near
Visions of family time, gifts and snacks While trying to remain focused while driving Singing and dodging all the deer
Now that I think about it I could really go for a beer So out on the porch I sit listening to the sounds Staring at the stars Freezing my ass off even with all my layered winter gear
Pretty sure I hear a pig, or a coyote, maybe a deer But it’s totally normal in these types of towns
I wonder if there are any bears Gasp, OMG the chupacabra could also live here Well frick I hope not If I’m not seen in the morning I probably wandered off in search of the perfect lighting to capture photos of creatures near
The thing about the silence Any and all noise definitely travels around I’m almost certain the rustle of my late night snacks have already awakened The 5 people that live in this town
I held it in It was hard but I managed Inside I was breaking But I smiled
Just a little boy heading off on an adventure You will always be that little boy to me As the flight attendant took your hand I gripped tight to my emotions A mother’s love Ensuring you didn’t see
No tears would fall Heading towards the plane Your back to me I stood waiting
All my effort focused on holding back the emotions Just before you were out of sight You turned back to me Those eyes Fear and uncertainty
Again I smiled That reassuring glow Just enough You smiled back A little wave
To say, I’m ok Mom
Then you were gone A sigh release For I could no longer control the emotions bubbling up inside me With tears streaming down my face Unable to compose myself I walked away
Through the airport Where we had both arrived I now walked alone And I cried
I don’t remember the drive home I do remember feeling so alone The house was silent I waited for your call The phone finally rang It was you You made it there safely
The next 2 weeks Seemed like an eternity But before I knew it I was back at the airport Impatiently waiting
I caught a glimpse My little boy Running full speed Tears again in my eyes
You missed me too Big hugs Lots of smiles
My sweet boy Momma loves you And is so happy for you to be back home with her tonight.
Quietly watching Anticipating I wander Lost in thought Desperately hoping For the peace That eludes me each night Continually seeking For something I have yet to find In the antelucan hour Between the darkness and light I find beauty Struggling An internal battle Acceptance Forgiveness Yesterhurt reminders Stealing my time Shadowing light I continue Fighting The war inside
Fading in and out Time unknown Days blur into nights Lost in you Tortured silence Your memory Stealing my thoughts Your face Smile on your lips The way you taste Remembering Pressed into time Unable to turn the page Spilled across my story Love still replays
