Christmas Shenanigans

5am Christmas Morning 2018

Twas the night before Christmas out in the country
Everyone was sleeping Snoring can be heard all through the house
My gun close by if I were to see a mouse

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care
I hope this yummy chocolate candy wasn’t meant to go in there

Out in the hall I made a big clatter
Gathering all the necessities for a little late night platter

It was a long drive here
And a few cappuccinos has me wired up so sleep is not near

Visions of family time, gifts and snacks
While trying to remain focused while driving
Singing and dodging all the deer

Now that I think about it I could really go for a beer
So out on the porch I sit listening to the sounds
Staring at the stars
Freezing my ass off even with all my layered winter gear


Pretty sure I hear a pig, or a coyote, maybe a deer
But it’s totally normal in these types of towns

I wonder if there are any bears
Gasp, OMG the chupacabra could also live here
Well frick
I hope not
If I’m not seen in the morning I probably wandered off in search of the perfect lighting to capture photos of creatures near

The thing about the silence Any and all noise definitely travels around
I’m almost certain the rustle of my late night snacks have already awakened
The 5 people that live in this town

XOXO Taylor Grace

Flight of Heart

I held it in
It was hard but I managed
Inside I was breaking
But I smiled

Just a little boy heading off on an adventure
You will always be that little boy to me
As the flight attendant took your hand
I gripped tight to my emotions
A mother’s love
Ensuring you didn’t see

No tears would fall
Heading towards the plane
Your back to me
I stood waiting

All my effort focused on holding back the emotions
Just before you were out of sight
You turned back to me
Those eyes
Fear and uncertainty

Again I smiled
That reassuring glow
Just enough
You smiled back
A little wave

To say, I’m ok Mom

Then you were gone
A sigh release
For I could no longer control the emotions bubbling up inside me
With tears streaming down my face
Unable to compose myself
I walked away

Through the airport
Where we had both arrived
I now walked alone
And I cried

I don’t remember the drive home
I do remember feeling so alone
The house was silent
I waited for your call
The phone finally rang
It was you
You made it there safely

The next 2 weeks
Seemed like an eternity
But before I knew it
I was back at the airport
Impatiently waiting

I caught a glimpse
My little boy
Running full speed
Tears again in my eyes

You missed me too
Big hugs
Lots of smiles

My sweet boy
Momma loves you
And is so happy for you to be back home with her tonight.

My Heart

Tuesday Sharing

There are so many of you that make me feel your words so deeply, that I look forward to reading your new writings when you post them.


You challenge my thoughts, inspire my soul, provoke deep emotions, provide comfort, make me smile, and often remind me that whatever I am facing, I am not alone. I truly appreciate your words, your soul baring, raw truths and the way it impacts me and so many others.

Embracing your unapologetic authenticity can be daunting and sharing it to the world, a true strength, I admire. I offer my gratitude to each of you.


https://hisnamewaszach.wordpress.com/

http://thelightison.blog

https://afadedromantic.wordpress.com/

https://afragilemind.home.blog/2019/10/22/done-in/

https://sirhanz.home.blog/2019/10/22/in-between/

https://shortprose.blog/2019/10/22/children-of-the-first-amen-autumn-poem-poetry/

https://freeverserevolution.wordpress.com/2019/10/22/hope-in-dreams-mark-tulin/

https://whisperandtheroar.com/2019/09/24/the-circle-of-life-christine-bolton/

https://millenniallifecrisis.org/2019/10/06/stay-humble-and-hustle-hard/

http://lookinginyourwindow.com

http://iwriteher.com

https://eatdelight3.com/2019/10/17/the-opposite/

http://drbogdan.home.blog

https://michael2malachi.wordpress.com/2019/10/21/words-2/

https://renardsworld.wordpress.com/2019/10/05/how-to-be-a-wise-blogger/

https://theblightersrock.wordpress.com/2019/10/22/opus-2/


https://joysblessingspoetry.com/2019/10/21/tendrils-of-light/

xoxo

❤me

Art

Her Canvas
Crisp
White
Paper
Void of any Markings

Her Artistry
Words
Painted into Poetry

Her Instrument
Fine
Tipped
Pen
Jet Black Ink

Her Purpose
Dig
Down
Deep
Share and Release

The Affect
Reflection
Clarity
Healing
Finding Her Voice

Waves of Need

Our journey may be different
Our needs evolve over time
Our wants fluctuate
Sometimes leaving behind troubled waters

Like the flow of the ocean, hard and consuming, it can leave us submerged
During the emotional storms we often struggle just to remain afloat

When the waters are calm and serene we sink blindly into the unknown dangers below the surface
This isn’t the way your life has to go

Our deep buried emotions can attempt to drown us temporarily or teach us to swim forever

The water, like our emotions, can be misleading
Our view can be distorted depending on where we currently stand
The terror is frightening if your desperately treading water in the sea
Alternatively
The warm, sweet, & blissful release of comfort and security is only realized once you make it to the beach


Realization crashing against the sand of our circumstance
It’s your journey
It’s your life, in your hands
Sometimes we need to reach out and that is where strength comes in

The weight of the ocean will only leave you treading water
That’s not a place you can sustain, only staying afloat until the weight of the pain is too intense

The ocean’s current below you working to pull you in, like the negativity you have deep within

So many are standing just on the sand, waiting, offering and willing to give you a hand
You only need to take that chance grab it

We each need assistance at some point


For someone to encourage, validate and tell us we can, we are and save us from drowning in the flood of emotions

Strength comes when you don’t have many other options, so let is save you
from life’s waves of high tides and sinking further in the lows.

xoxo
♥️me
7/14/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Serenaded by the sea

Because of You

Since you didn’t ask, I’ll share anyways

It’s a beautiful Friday morning and I appreciate every single one of you. The connections, the conversations, the likes, your words, your writing, your personalities, your perspective, your photos, I love and appreciate it all!

This is truly a place I feel my most vulnerable and celebrated at the same time. I am so grateful ♥️ it’s because of you, your struggle, your truths, your stories, your jokes, your encouraging words and everything Inbetween!

I’m here, I see it, I feel it, I appreciate it and I offer my deepest gratitude ♥️

Word can not convey the emotions felt daily as I read your words and communicate with you.

You inspire me daily
You provoke thought
You provide answers
You validate my truth
You accept me as I am
An amazing community

I just thought you should know, I see and I am eternally grateful ♥️

xoxo
♥️me
8/30/2019

Those Eyes

A Blessing
Warm cries
Swollen eyes
Outstretched arms
Parent’s Bliss
Softly sang lullabies
Comfort
Little kiss
The world in those eyes
Dancing with dreams
Drifting off peacefully
Sweet little baby
My niece
Auntie loves you
Infinity

xoxo
♥️me
8/25/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

2017 Tried to Break Me

2017 has come to an end, I just want to take a moment to let you know, for me this is how it’s been.

A couple of resolutions that I finally made my priority, when I put my mind to something, then you know that it isn’t a maybe but a 100% guarantee. I have worked my ass off (quite literally) to be the best possible version of me I can be. I have won some, lost some but I continue to start each day with a fresh perspective, renewed purpose and try again. I’m still proud of the better me, that I strive each day to be.

My physical health was one of those top priorities and I’m happy to report that there’s a much healthier and smaller version of me going into 2018. It’s astonishing the difference a few pounds can have on so many things. I found an amazing gym family that always sets their focus on empowering women, positive vibes, inspiring, the beauty in each member and lots of dancing, laughing, booty werk and all the sillyness that fits me perfectly.

Unfortunately I did have a few health issues that required 3 emergency surgeries and I’m still recovering from the last one. I pray it gets better and don’t lose my sight permanently.

Another focus was to dig down deep in order to sit with my anger, pain, and finally talk about some of the broken pieces that have been hidden inside for an eternity. While that has taken a toll on some relationships, finally calling someone out on their bullshit was quite therapeutic for me.

I shouldn’t have been so surprised when you waited until no one was around in order to spew all that hatred and completely obliterate every part of me but at the end of the day, you will forever stay stuck with only the memories and the knowledge that you will never again hear from me. Continue to twist the words for sympathy, turn others againist me, but please remember I know who you really are since those evil pieces were inherited by me. The difference is I turn it inward instead of using it as arsenal againist those I call family. I’ll be the scapegoat of your pretend fairytale family since you’ve paid such close attention to convince others and have a real talent for re-writing the truth out of actual history. I’m the one covered in the physical and mental scars of your choices, your mistakes, your neglect so there is no lying to me.

My little Sky bear, a true gift from God, has absolutely grown into the most perfect guy and I cherish his love, laughter and all the sweetness he shows me. I am so proud of him in so many ways, his heart, his intelligence, his strength, his ambition, his complete acceptance and the many things he has taught me. I adore his morning hugs and cuddles and the fact that I get to be his Mom, his safe place and I love him 100% unconditionally.

I’ve experienced some amazing success, loss, heartbreak but still was able to find my inner peace. I have laughed so hard that I could barely breathe. I’ve cried so hard all I could do was fall to the floor and beg God for his loving mercy.

In some of my darkest hours I found myself completely alone, I know I’m a complex person but just needed the same love and support in return that I have always shown. I’ve given up control of a few things in order to better focus my energy on those most important to me. I have realized that there is a very small number of people in this entire world that I can depend on if I’m in an emergency, go to for advice, won’t judge or share my words and accepts my crazy, silly, loud, broken and all the sharp edges that makeup the pieces that are me.

Thanks to the devastation from hurricane Harvey, I’ve lived through some terrifying and stressful moments that still continue. When you see your whole life floating under water it is a new sadness that I didn’t want to know. Trying to rebuild this house isn’t an easy task and it still doesn’t have the same warm feeling as the place I use to call my home.

We are no closer to being finished as we were a month ago, in fact the only things accomplished so far are new walls, partial flooring, and some doors half done so a long road ahead until I can finally say we are done.

Water has always been my safe place, something that provided comfort but now the rain brings back those memories of quite desperation and the fear of the unknown.

The kindness of a few people, mostly complete strangers, fed my family, provided necessities, even helped with demo when there was no one else who was here to help my family. It was a surreal feeling not knowing how I would fed my family, we were stuck, no vehicles, no kitchen, no frig or freezer so only some pantry items that didn’t get ruined and I didn’t eat for days to ensure my guys had enough because that’s what was most important to me.

Thanksgiving day came & went, we had chips & dips and went driving around since I finally had a car again to get out of the house and see some pre black Friday deals. I truly felt like a failure as a mom since that is never the thanksgiving memory I wanted him to have but couldn’t prepare him a big feast and with no invites for dinner I did the best I could with what I had.

I hope and pray that 2018 is a more joyful year and that we are able to put all the missing & broken pieces together and re-direct our focus on the hopes, dreams and make many happy memories that will bring smiles to my little family because that is what I hold close to my heart and their happiness is most important to me.


xoxo
♥️Me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
12/31/2017

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