Anthology

I am incredibly honored to have 3 pieces selected for inclusion in the anthology, Screaming from the Silence

@vociferouspress @nightandsparrow

Screaming from the Silence consists of three sections:

Stanzas from the Silence – poetry

Stories from the Silence – prose

Sketches from the Silence – visual art

Coming January 2020

Secrets

Lined by books
Row after row
Roaming aimlessly
Until she found an erotic novel
The pages saturated by explicit fantasies
Captured by the words
Her arousal growing
Sex pulsing
Under her skirt
Fingers delving
Satisfying release
Her naughty secret
On the floor
At the library

Moonlight

Quietly watching
Anticipating
I wander
Lost in thought
Desperately hoping
For the peace
That eludes me each night
Continually seeking
For something
I have yet to find
In the antelucan hour
Between the darkness and light
I find beauty
Struggling
An internal battle
Acceptance
Forgiveness
Yesterhurt reminders
Stealing my time
Shadowing light
I continue
Fighting
The war inside


Curse

Giving
Taking
Sadness
You are hurting
Let me comfort you
Difficult to do
I am the source of what’s hurting you

Under my spell
Struggling
Seeping into every part of you
Yearning to hold me
Have me to yourself

Those sharp edges slicing you deep
The best
The worst
My love
Killing you silently

Robbing you of sleep
Lies
Secrets
Overwhelming anxiety
Mind playing tricks on you

Pushing you away
Pulling you back in
Selfish needs

Your drug
The further you fall
Addicted
Flirting with insanity

It’s not your fault
You couldn’t have known
Seductive quality
Dancing with my demons
They put on quite a show

You deserve better
Life in shambles
All because of me
I want so badly to keep you
I won’t though
I set you free

Pain carving into your chest
Paying the price
Loving me
A curse for eternity

Waves of Need

Our journey may be different
Our needs evolve over time
Our wants fluctuate
Sometimes leaving behind troubled waters

Like the flow of the ocean, hard and consuming, it can leave us submerged
During the emotional storms we often struggle just to remain afloat

When the waters are calm and serene we sink blindly into the unknown dangers below the surface
This isn’t the way your life has to go

Our deep buried emotions can attempt to drown us temporarily or teach us to swim forever

The water, like our emotions, can be misleading
Our view can be distorted depending on where we currently stand
The terror is frightening if your desperately treading water in the sea
Alternatively
The warm, sweet, & blissful release of comfort and security is only realized once you make it to the beach


Realization crashing against the sand of our circumstance
It’s your journey
It’s your life, in your hands
Sometimes we need to reach out and that is where strength comes in

The weight of the ocean will only leave you treading water
That’s not a place you can sustain, only staying afloat until the weight of the pain is too intense

The ocean’s current below you working to pull you in, like the negativity you have deep within

So many are standing just on the sand, waiting, offering and willing to give you a hand
You only need to take that chance grab it

We each need assistance at some point


For someone to encourage, validate and tell us we can, we are and save us from drowning in the flood of emotions

Strength comes when you don’t have many other options, so let is save you
from life’s waves of high tides and sinking further in the lows.

xoxo
♥️me
7/14/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Serenaded by the sea

The Ugly Truth

I was born into a life no child should ever have to experience.

I have never known a Father’s love but instead a Father’s rage, addiction, violence, and being sexually abused.

I was only 2 when he stole a bigger part of me.
I was too young & didn’t understand but was left feeling confused.

I was only 4 when he ripped me apart physically.

Years & years of laughter, love, & joy were not what would be in store for me.
Instead i have faced countless surgeries, unbearable pain and eventually heartbreaking infertility.

Through no fault of my own just another thing he took from me.

The physical scars have distorted my body.
But it’s the emotional wreckage that has continued to haunt me.

I often wonder what that little girl would have grown up to be.

If only she hadn’t been so viciously stolen from me.
She had no time for playtime, fairytales, hopes or dreams.

But instead staying alive & keeping her sanity would be her biggest priority.

You may think she is a survivor & how true that might be
But it certainly doesn’t feel that simple with the daily reminders & horrific memories.

I was only 7 when she abandoned me.
A mother’s love,that I did not see.

Where was my protector & biggest fan.

The person who was suppose to build me up & tell me I can.
Horribly failed me in the short time we had together.
I only wished that she could have loved me better.
What was so wrong with me that my own birth parents could cause so much damage & destruction.
Not stopping to think about how all this would forever affect me.

I continue today living through all the repercussions.
What a tragedy at how my life started off to be.
All because they put addiction, abuse, violence, wants & selfish needs first instead of me.

Years of therapy, doctors & medication could never replace the shattered pieces of my heart, soul & innocence that they have stolen from me.

No justice was served or consequence for them to bare
Although apart they live worry free
No second thought of the damage caused to me
It is my burden to bare, as they live their life vicariously
Wronged yet again through the system, and no justice will ever prevail for me.

The truth never hurts
Their lies disgusting 
Unable to rewrite history
Validation arrives on shattered dreams
My truth, written for all eternity

§



xoxo
♥️me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Dissolution of Me

Pain of yesterday
A curse
A blessing
I find strength in its vulnerability
Weakness in honesty
The darkness a welcoming relief

How do you let go of a love you have never known
The capacity of trust
Never enough
Flawlessly indisposed
Just let it go
Your silence attacking me
Heartbreaking
Struggling to breathe

Unable to comprehend
Acceptance, a foreign word
Unconditional love, something I’ve never known

Mind full of disbelief

Concealed are the pieces
Continuing to feed
Distant memories
Quiet desperation
Life of tragedies
I’m summed up to be
Never wanting that label
Can’t run from your destiny
Alone with my thoughts
I’ll always be that person
I collect the pieces
The broken inside
It’s all of me

xoxo
♥️me
9/5/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Definition of Insanity?

Things I am
Determined
Educated
Strong
Confident

Things I am not
Determined
Strong
Confident


The girl who has it all
The girl who wants to achieve her dreams
The girl that lets nothing and everything stop her simultaneously

A continuous cycle of the both sides of the same damn things

Launching me forward
Dragging me back

Excitment
Fear

Excelling
Hiding

Chasing
Running

Perfecting
Failing

Setting priorities
Cancelling everything

Self doubt fueled by anxiety

I can’t see what they see
The good parts
The beauty
Those words don’t exist to me

The truth of my reality

xoxo
♥️me
9/8/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

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