Tangled

Long Auburn hair
Gently tossled
From slumbers wake
Weaving between her hands
Golden braided strands
The calming way she soothes
Anxious feelings wash away
Tangled mess in braids

xoxo
♥️me
8/21/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Kindness is Free

While you are judging
Others are suffering
Silence is a killer
Implanting fear

We all just want to be accepted
Be kind
If negativity leads your words
Don’t speak
Just listen
Sometimes that’s all that is needed
It could save a life
Something so simple
Hearing the words that we are scared to say
Tremendous impact

Fear
Shame
Self doubt
Judgment
These will love us to death

You have the opportunity to help someone
Unconditional love
Complete acceptance
Aren’t we all seeking the same

Be the change
Empower
Inspire
Accept without limitations


xoxo
♥️me
8/15/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

I See

I can hear it
The violence in his tone
The anger in his expression
The intensity in his stance
The hate in the words unspoken

I just met you but I see you
The you that is cleverly hidden
It’s not
You’re not
I feel it
I see it
I sense every bad piece of who you are

I possess a innate ability to read between the versions of you being presented with a smile

Trauma does that
A little gift, I wish I never received
The broken pieces
The broken inside of me
They see

xoxo
♥️me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
7/29/2019

Complex Me


She is a product of her experiences and so many other things
Her beauty is the joy, humor & laughter she brings
She is smart, funny, and sometimes interesting
Her mood will determine which one you get to see
Her allure is a combination of so many things
She is thoughtful, kind & seductive
Her mystery can be found in her silence and all the unspoken things
She is simple & enjoys the little things
Her soul sees what you are hiding
She too also hides many things
Her attention is always focused on only a few things
She is healing from things that are broken
Her fragility is not something you will ever see
She is a leader and excels at many things
Her eyes show you the hunger, the want, the pain and everything it all brings
Her body language will tell you to come closer or step away
She is complex in every single way but so worth it

xoxo
♥️ me
Thebrokeninsideofme
7/13/2019

Repeat Repeat Repeat

Wake up
Task, routines & responsibilities 
Eat
Exchange pleasantries 
Smile, nod & wave to the neighbors 
Act like a normal person
Clearly everyone expects that of me
Try to hit pause long enough to take notice & appreciate all the beauty life brings

Now back to pretending 
Repeat 
Repeat 
Repeat 
Task, routines & responsibilities 
Eat
Practice selfcare 
Allow space for writing, reflecting, meditation & spirituality 


Unpause

Task, routines & responsibilities 
Eat
Sleep
Repeat 

Wasting time, can’t think about that now
Have to start it all over 
Task, routines & responsibilities 
Don’t forget
Repeat
Repeat 
Repeat 
Throw in extra smiles just to switch up the routine

Tomorrow, 
Repeating it all from the beginning 
Wake up
Task, routines & responsibilities 
Eat
Again, from the top
Repeat 
Repeat 
Repeat 

Really living
All in my head
Or

Walking around repeating & pretending 

Attempting to prolong the ending
The conclusion
I feel like I’m already dead

xoxo
♥️me
7/6/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme

TRUST

How do you dive deeper if it’s missing?

Where do you find the strength to let go?

How do you learn something you have never known?

Where is that relentless determination I have for other things?

How do I embrace the emotion?

Where is the feeling that it brings?

How have I made it this far without it?

Where is that someone for me?

How do I climb this mountain?

Where will I finally jump and unbind these wings?

How do I keep from just face planting?

Where is the connection that it brings?

How will I move forward without the answers to all of these things?

Trust, an allusive bitch or my answer to everything?

xoxo
♥️me
7/4/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme

Final

My heart is racing
All the emotions bubbling
My hands are shaking
I want to scream

Tears just below the surface
No one understands
I tried so hard to be patient
I held out hope for the words to come

I could have easily forgiven
But instead new damage was done
I opened my heart for her to understand
She crushed me
The words can’t be undone

It’s one thing to do it on my terms
But quite another when it is a task forced upon me
I will not be put in that situation again

The one who gave life to me
The one who tried to take life from me
The one who walked away
The one who gave me away
The one who lives happily

She made her choices
And so have I
So this is farewell, adios, and my final goodbye.



xoxo
♥️me
6/12/2018
Thebrokeninsideofme

Perhaps

How is it I find more comfort in the written words of a complete stranger?

Shouldn’t I find that comfort closer to home?

Perhaps it is the lack of experiences tainting the connection
The void of pretense
The missing judgment
The ties that bind us together are forged only in support and kindness

The words validating my secret space, setting me free
The depth of communication seems limitless, that’s new for me

Maybe it’s the raw emotion written down, poured out, and shared only for some to see

Is it our struggle
Is it our strength
Is it our passion
Is it our vulnerability
Is writing our connection
Perhaps it is a little bit of all of these.

xoxo
♥️me
7/4/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme

Harvey

Well it’s been one year
Since your path of destruction danced across Texas

Like an uninvited guest
You lingered way too long
Finally your departure cleared way for sunshine and sorrow

Our community submerged but we joined together and came out fighting Bay Colony Strong

Flooded with emotion
Depleted of the basic necessities
Relying on the kindness of strangers and a few close friends/family

Grateful for surviving
But our whole life sitting on the curb
Soaking wet memories floating around
Everything reduced to nothing but an eyesore as the trash continued to pile up
Before I knew it the house was no longer visible except for the 2nd story

Unfortunately it wasn’t just isolated to us but many families shared the same horror
Seeing everything you worked so hard for sitting there damaged day after day, week after week was an unwanted daily reminder of all you lost however I tell myself to focus on the positive, be grateful it wasn’t a worse outcome and say a prayer for those that paid the ultimate cost

So many stressed, sad and heartbroken faces but can’t deal with that now because the bank, the insurance, the mortgage, the claims, FEMA, must pull it all together, document everything, take pictures, make videos, get the vehicles towed, check in daily, send emails, make calls, do demo and try to remain calm when they are all attempting to screw you over but because we are parents and the kiddos have been through enough so had to suck it up and save the tears for later and maintain my composure until he is in bed then it’s your time and you could completely lose it and breakdown

Your most cherished items can never be replaced and the sight of them covered in mold and nastiness, leaves a profound feeling of sadness
But there is so much to do so you push it way, refocus and thank God for surviving and delivering the angels that show up as complete strangers ready to help anyway they can

I am forever changed by their Kindness
Compassion
Willingness to help
For feeding my family
Delivering bottled water
Household Supplies
Prayers in the driveway
Encouragement
Doing our laundry
Just listening
And so much more

Ignorant to what we would be facing moving forward, is an understatement but I hope to never need this knowledge or experience ever again

Yes, it has only been one year
but to be honest it has felt like 10 and at other times it feels as if it was only weeks ago, when the weight of it slowly starts to consume me, I flash back to the moments of fear for so many who were close to not being found

Instead they were rescued just moments before they were out of options and they would have drowned
So many lives lost, not just those needing rescue but also those who risked it all for complete strangers to ensure they were delivered to a safe place on higher and dry ground

We, like so many others, are still not finished rebuilding, restoring, overcoming, or least of all ready, willing or able to deal with or face the overwhelming emotions, brought back a million times by each thunderstorm or heavy rainfall, that has threatened our progress and challenged our sanity ever since

We definitely lost it all
But like others in our community we just keep moving, pushing forward, thankful for the blessings, those that stepped up, showed us kindness, and made this whole nightmare a joint effort to help each other

It was the most beautiful outcome to experience and witness
No judgment
No hate
No fighting
No social media bashing
No rude comments
No asshole drivers
No typical daily distractions

Just an overwhelming effort to join together, support, aid and help your community
We all did what we could even if it was just sitting and listening or embracing a neighbor as the tears came rolling down

We were not just residents of Galveston county but instead just one big community banded together
What an incredible memory
It has been a year but I’ll always be thankful for those moments and will forever carry them with me
They were that profoundxoxo

♥️me

8/27/2018

Thebrokeninsideofme.com

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