Standing in the pain Lost direction Continue ahead for more of the same Turn and walk away I remain lost with no direction I inch along the path seeking clarity
Dark Damp Gloomy My existence The choices before me The path ahead All practically the same
Lost in thought The weather mimics my emotions Rain drops fall The tears follow Each serving a purpose Repairing, healing and growing Washing the slate clean
Detour ahead for the heart, body and soul
Forever
A word used often Doesn’t always play out as it is defined to mean Interpreting it has a way of meaning two different things
Sinfully sweet Gritty beauty Lofty sensuality Vivid red Tinged pink Smeared graffiti Across her lips Succulent texture Taste of her kiss Superb quality Rushing need Delving deep Imprinting frenzy Dirty pretty Seducing Me
Heartbreak Loss Beginnings Endings Love Happiness Chances Choices Learning Growing Writing along the way 2019 has broken me 2019 has inspired me Through it all Forever changed And I am Grateful
I held it in It was hard but I managed Inside I was breaking But I smiled
Just a little boy heading off on an adventure You will always be that little boy to me As the flight attendant took your hand I gripped tight to my emotions A mother’s love Ensuring you didn’t see
No tears would fall Heading towards the plane Your back to me I stood waiting
All my effort focused on holding back the emotions Just before you were out of sight You turned back to me Those eyes Fear and uncertainty
Again I smiled That reassuring glow Just enough You smiled back A little wave
To say, I’m ok Mom
Then you were gone A sigh release For I could no longer control the emotions bubbling up inside me With tears streaming down my face Unable to compose myself I walked away
Through the airport Where we had both arrived I now walked alone And I cried
I don’t remember the drive home I do remember feeling so alone The house was silent I waited for your call The phone finally rang It was you You made it there safely
The next 2 weeks Seemed like an eternity But before I knew it I was back at the airport Impatiently waiting
I caught a glimpse My little boy Running full speed Tears again in my eyes
You missed me too Big hugs Lots of smiles
My sweet boy Momma loves you And is so happy for you to be back home with her tonight.
Lined by books Row after row Roaming aimlessly Until she found an erotic novel The pages saturated by explicit fantasies Captured by the words Her arousal growing Sex pulsing Under her skirt Fingers delving Satisfying release Her naughty secret On the floor At the library
Quietly watching Anticipating I wander Lost in thought Desperately hoping For the peace That eludes me each night Continually seeking For something I have yet to find In the antelucan hour Between the darkness and light I find beauty Struggling An internal battle Acceptance Forgiveness Yesterhurt reminders Stealing my time Shadowing light I continue Fighting The war inside
Ever changing story Hidden amongst deceit Shaded memories Meticulously painted Carefully swaying perceptions of who she use to be Self serving quality Imprinted deep Blue, purple & green Scars left unseen Reminding me There use to be truth Distorted so prettily
