I Choose Me

 

You promised me so many things

Tired of forcing this

Constantly struggling

You made me believe

I should have known

I was never enough

I will never live up to your expectations of who I should be

If you could look back

Reflect on the silence

All the times I was at my weakest

I took a chance

I finally spoke

And you used it against me

No longer the person I use to be

Once Strong, now weak

I am nothing and everything to you

All I ever wanted was to just be me

Tired of drowning in this misery

Pretending we are happy

It’s time

I choose me

xoxo

♥me

9/14/2019

Thebrokeninsideofme.com

The Versatile Blogger Award

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The Versatile Blogger Award

I was nominated by the truly amazing Catherine at https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/feed

Thank You So Much Catherine, I am truly in awe of you and your kindness. Catherine shares through her writing the impact of childhood trauma, encouragement, and compassion. She is a light to so many. You should definitely go visit her site, say hi and join the wonderful space she has created https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/?autojoin=1

The Versatile Blogger Award is an Award given to Bloggers from other Bloggers to spread encouraging engagement & too recognize Blogs with unique content.

Seven Facts About Me…

♥ I am a speed reader

♥ I am a tomboy

♥ I practice yoga and meditation

♥ I am vegetarian

♥ The ocean is my favorite place to be

♥ I love to research and learn new things everyday

♥ I am fearless in nature (walked out into the water yesterday to get super close to an alligator to get a picture)

My Nominees are Bloggers who continue to shine a bright light in the Blogging & Writing world. Take a click over to their websites & give them all some love!

1. https://shortstoryscribe.wordpress.com/2019/02/05/future-damaged-and-broken-novellas/

2. https://poetryforhealing.com/2019/07/25/repair/

3. https://worldpress957.wordpress.com/2019/08/03/you-cant-handle-the-truth-2/

4. https://tabulaerotica.wordpress.com/2019/08/01/anything-could-happen/

5. https://mitchteemley.com/author/mitchteemley/

6. https://wordslessspoken781842219.blog/2019/08/27/shameful-irony/

7. https://imieialtiebassi.wordpress.com/2019/08/06/unica/

8. https://evolutionofselffeedyourhunger.wordpress.com/2019/08/12/the-roller-coaster-affect/

9. https://passcodelove.com/2019/08/24/be-you-tiful/

10. https://poetrybyarchangelwhitewolf.wordpress.com/2019/08/07/in-his-name/

11. https://lunatheblog.com/2019/08/28/savingme-why-me/

12. https://hermourningcoffee.com/2019/08/08/mediocre/

13. https://thisweirdchicksblog.com/2019/08/06/mind-games-addiction/

14. https://poetofthelight.com/2019/08/27/counter-currents/

15. https://jhward.net/2019/08/16/the-moon-and-me/

Please don’t feel obligated to respond. This award is given in a fun & supporting manner ⚘ Now stand up & applaud yourselves… You Deserve It 💕

Congratulations to all you Wonderfully Talented Writers

xoxo

♥️me

Thebrokeninsideofme.com

typewriter

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https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/3750780?utm_source=manual

2017 Tried to Break Me

2017 has come to an end, I just want to take a moment to let you know, for me this is how it’s been.

A couple of resolutions that I finally made my priority, when I put my mind to something, then you know that it isn’t a maybe but a 100% guarantee. I have worked my ass off (quite literally) to be the best possible version of me I can be. I have won some, lost some but I continue to start each day with a fresh perspective, renewed purpose and try again. I’m still proud of the better me, that I strive each day to be.

My physical health was one of those top priorities and I’m happy to report that there’s a much healthier and smaller version of me going into 2018. It’s astonishing the difference a few pounds can have on so many things. I found an amazing gym family that always sets their focus on empowering women, positive vibes, inspiring, the beauty in each member and lots of dancing, laughing, booty werk and all the sillyness that fits me perfectly.

Unfortunately I did have a few health issues that required 3 emergency surgeries and I’m still recovering from the last one. I pray it gets better and don’t lose my sight permanently.

Another focus was to dig down deep in order to sit with my anger, pain, and finally talk about some of the broken pieces that have been hidden inside for an eternity. While that has taken a toll on some relationships, finally calling someone out on their bullshit was quite therapeutic for me.

I shouldn’t have been so surprised when you waited until no one was around in order to spew all that hatred and completely obliterate every part of me but at the end of the day, you will forever stay stuck with only the memories and the knowledge that you will never again hear from me. Continue to twist the words for sympathy, turn others againist me, but please remember I know who you really are since those evil pieces were inherited by me. The difference is I turn it inward instead of using it as arsenal againist those I call family. I’ll be the scapegoat of your pretend fairytale family since you’ve paid such close attention to convince others and have a real talent for re-writing the truth out of actual history. I’m the one covered in the physical and mental scars of your choices, your mistakes, your neglect so there is no lying to me.

My little Sky bear, a true gift from God, has absolutely grown into the most perfect guy and I cherish his love, laughter and all the sweetness he shows me. I am so proud of him in so many ways, his heart, his intelligence, his strength, his ambition, his complete acceptance and the many things he has taught me. I adore his morning hugs and cuddles and the fact that I get to be his Mom, his safe place and I love him 100% unconditionally.

I’ve experienced some amazing success, loss, heartbreak but still was able to find my inner peace. I have laughed so hard that I could barely breathe. I’ve cried so hard all I could do was fall to the floor and beg God for his loving mercy.

In some of my darkest hours I found myself completely alone, I know I’m a complex person but just needed the same love and support in return that I have always shown. I’ve given up control of a few things in order to better focus my energy on those most important to me. I have realized that there is a very small number of people in this entire world that I can depend on if I’m in an emergency, go to for advice, won’t judge or share my words and accepts my crazy, silly, loud, broken and all the sharp edges that makeup the pieces that are me.

Thanks to the devastation from hurricane Harvey, I’ve lived through some terrifying and stressful moments that still continue. When you see your whole life floating under water it is a new sadness that I didn’t want to know. Trying to rebuild this house isn’t an easy task and it still doesn’t have the same warm feeling as the place I use to call my home.

We are no closer to being finished as we were a month ago, in fact the only things accomplished so far are new walls, partial flooring, and some doors half done so a long road ahead until I can finally say we are done.

Water has always been my safe place, something that provided comfort but now the rain brings back those memories of quite desperation and the fear of the unknown.

The kindness of a few people, mostly complete strangers, fed my family, provided necessities, even helped with demo when there was no one else who was here to help my family. It was a surreal feeling not knowing how I would fed my family, we were stuck, no vehicles, no kitchen, no frig or freezer so only some pantry items that didn’t get ruined and I didn’t eat for days to ensure my guys had enough because that’s what was most important to me.

Thanksgiving day came & went, we had chips & dips and went driving around since I finally had a car again to get out of the house and see some pre black Friday deals. I truly felt like a failure as a mom since that is never the thanksgiving memory I wanted him to have but couldn’t prepare him a big feast and with no invites for dinner I did the best I could with what I had.

I hope and pray that 2018 is a more joyful year and that we are able to put all the missing & broken pieces together and re-direct our focus on the hopes, dreams and make many happy memories that will bring smiles to my little family because that is what I hold close to my heart and their happiness is most important to me.


xoxo
♥️Me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
12/31/2017

Embrace

Just as she stepped into the light
Regret consumed her
Not regret of the words
Regret for the attention
She felt the power of her story
However the attention scared her
She wanted to move forward
But from the shadows
Alas her name would change
The facts did not
Her feelings
Her experiences
Her wants
Her fantasies
They were her words
Just hidden behind an alias
Surely they would see the truth in the words
The depth in her eyes
The passion in her smirk
The joy in her smile
Longing to be heard
To find her place
She stepped further
Into the words
And delighted in their embrace

xoxo
♥️me
8/18/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Sharing

Words
Poured from the soul
Clarity
Mystery
Written outloud
Kind
Bold
Inner thoughts
Rambling
True conviction
Sexual tale
Spilled out
Stories undisclosed
Final endings
Splendid beginnings
Once a long ago
I write it all
Sharing
The cure for my soul

xoxo
♥️me
8/29/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Kindness is Free

While you are judging
Others are suffering
Silence is a killer
Implanting fear

We all just want to be accepted
Be kind
If negativity leads your words
Don’t speak
Just listen
Sometimes that’s all that is needed
It could save a life
Something so simple
Hearing the words that we are scared to say
Tremendous impact

Fear
Shame
Self doubt
Judgment
These will love us to death

You have the opportunity to help someone
Unconditional love
Complete acceptance
Aren’t we all seeking the same

Be the change
Empower
Inspire
Accept without limitations


xoxo
♥️me
8/15/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Storming

Thunder echoes with hunger

Rain falls hard enhancing need

Darkness implicating passionate greed

Temperatures escalating

Lightning exploding sexual energy

Wind rhythmically blowing across my body

Pressure increasing

Craving the storm that your love brings

xoxo

♥me

8/4/2019

thebrokeninsideofme.com

Choose Wisely

Hate
Intolerance
Adversity
Destruction
Chaos
Anger
Pain


Love
Generosity
Compassion
Kindness
Prosperity
Comfort
Healing
Happiness
Positivity


We all have a choice
Which will you choose to lead

xoxo
♥️ me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
8/4/2019


Seductive Dance

 

He touched her
It was an unexpected pleasure
She hadn’t know before
Undressing her thoughts so deeply

Reaching

Grabbing

Pulling her in

Complete strangers

Feeling like someone she’s always known
Nothing between them physically except distance

No history to cloud their fantasies
Just heightened senses
Imagining what an orgasmic explosion that would be

No physical interaction
Just captured attention
Caressing the soul
Undressing the pretense
Each with nothing to lose
They continued further
Since she has peeked his interest

Using only words

Yearning for more
They went deeper

Back and forth
Back and forth
Back and forth
For hours on end
The words intrigued them
Neither stopping
Just going forward for more
Further
Faster
Increasing Intensity
Relentlessly delving

An Insatiable need
No safety word needed
Just two dominant people
Demanding the other to their knees
Entangled in this dance

A seductive web of uncertainty
Purposely continuing

He is pleasing her

What he doesn’t realize

He started this all, already on his knees

Thank you sir, I am very much pleased. Next time, I will wear a red dress.

https://thebrokeninsideofme.com/

____________________________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com

 

Words

Words
So powerful
Invoking emotion
A genuine smile
A vehement reply
A tearful release
A joyous display
A passionate embrace
Words
The creative instrument used to express the emotions of our day

xoxo
♥️me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
7/26/2019

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