I Survive

Throughout my life

I fall

I rise

I live

I learn

I survive

Against life’s tapestry

Taking forward strides

In my darkest moments

I stop

I retreat

I isolate

I cry

I still survive

Detours, destinations, love, loss and lies

Along this unforgiving path

Alone or with allies

I keep trying

My journey started with trauma

I have looked evil in the eyes

I have overcome those that tried to take my life

I have been abandoned

Completely cast aside by those that gave me life

I have prepared to die numerous times

I have been cut apart

I have been embedded with foreign parts

Broken, stitched together and cauterized

I did survive

But along the way

I have experienced many wonderful times

I have seen a child brought into this world

I have held the hand of someone leaving this life

I have felt a love that never dies

I have seen the world through someone else’s eyes

I have laid under a million stars across the night sky

I have been lost and found

I have found my voice

I have realized my strength

I have learned forgiveness

I have seen many beautiful scenes

I have survived

Across this fragile thing called life

I stand

I live

I fight

These scars represent the battles I’ve won

The pain serves as my battle cry

A warrior

I ALWAYS SURVIVE

 

What do you see
What Do You See

Burning Grief


Pouring it out
Like gasoline
Onto embers

Discarded reflections
Tossed over
Sorting it all out

Striking the match
Igniting pain
Pieces engulfed
Burning it down

Shattered
Completely hollow
Lost or profound

Crackling grief

The sound of healing
Stoking memories
Smoke billows peace
Breathing relief

Slate wiped clean
Ashes floating
Carrying secrets hidden deep
Therapeutic release

Anthology

I am incredibly honored to have 3 pieces selected for inclusion in the anthology, Screaming from the Silence

@vociferouspress @nightandsparrow

Screaming from the Silence consists of three sections:

Stanzas from the Silence – poetry

Stories from the Silence – prose

Sketches from the Silence – visual art

Coming January 2020

Becoming Fragile

Ever changing story
Hidden amongst deceit
Shaded memories
Meticulously painted
Carefully swaying perceptions of who she use to be
Self serving quality
Imprinted deep
Blue, purple & green
Scars left unseen
Reminding me
There use to be truth
Distorted so prettily


The Ugly Truth

I was born into a life no child should ever have to experience.

I have never known a Father’s love but instead a Father’s rage, addiction, violence, and being sexually abused.

I was only 2 when he stole a bigger part of me.
I was too young & didn’t understand but was left feeling confused.

I was only 4 when he ripped me apart physically.

Years & years of laughter, love, & joy were not what would be in store for me.
Instead i have faced countless surgeries, unbearable pain and eventually heartbreaking infertility.

Through no fault of my own just another thing he took from me.

The physical scars have distorted my body.
But it’s the emotional wreckage that has continued to haunt me.

I often wonder what that little girl would have grown up to be.

If only she hadn’t been so viciously stolen from me.
She had no time for playtime, fairytales, hopes or dreams.

But instead staying alive & keeping her sanity would be her biggest priority.

You may think she is a survivor & how true that might be
But it certainly doesn’t feel that simple with the daily reminders & horrific memories.

I was only 7 when she abandoned me.
A mother’s love,that I did not see.

Where was my protector & biggest fan.

The person who was suppose to build me up & tell me I can.
Horribly failed me in the short time we had together.
I only wished that she could have loved me better.
What was so wrong with me that my own birth parents could cause so much damage & destruction.
Not stopping to think about how all this would forever affect me.

I continue today living through all the repercussions.
What a tragedy at how my life started off to be.
All because they put addiction, abuse, violence, wants & selfish needs first instead of me.

Years of therapy, doctors & medication could never replace the shattered pieces of my heart, soul & innocence that they have stolen from me.

No justice was served or consequence for them to bare
Although apart they live worry free
No second thought of the damage caused to me
It is my burden to bare, as they live their life vicariously
Wronged yet again through the system, and no justice will ever prevail for me.

The truth never hurts
Their lies disgusting 
Unable to rewrite history
Validation arrives on shattered dreams
My truth, written for all eternity

§



xoxo
♥️me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Dissolution of Me

Pain of yesterday
A curse
A blessing
I find strength in its vulnerability
Weakness in honesty
The darkness a welcoming relief

How do you let go of a love you have never known
The capacity of trust
Never enough
Flawlessly indisposed
Just let it go
Your silence attacking me
Heartbreaking
Struggling to breathe

Unable to comprehend
Acceptance, a foreign word
Unconditional love, something I’ve never known

Mind full of disbelief

Concealed are the pieces
Continuing to feed
Distant memories
Quiet desperation
Life of tragedies
I’m summed up to be
Never wanting that label
Can’t run from your destiny
Alone with my thoughts
I’ll always be that person
I collect the pieces
The broken inside
It’s all of me

xoxo
♥️me
9/5/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Embrace

Just as she stepped into the light
Regret consumed her
Not regret of the words
Regret for the attention
She felt the power of her story
However the attention scared her
She wanted to move forward
But from the shadows
Alas her name would change
The facts did not
Her feelings
Her experiences
Her wants
Her fantasies
They were her words
Just hidden behind an alias
Surely they would see the truth in the words
The depth in her eyes
The passion in her smirk
The joy in her smile
Longing to be heard
To find her place
She stepped further
Into the words
And delighted in their embrace

xoxo
♥️me
8/18/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Kindness is Free

While you are judging
Others are suffering
Silence is a killer
Implanting fear

We all just want to be accepted
Be kind
If negativity leads your words
Don’t speak
Just listen
Sometimes that’s all that is needed
It could save a life
Something so simple
Hearing the words that we are scared to say
Tremendous impact

Fear
Shame
Self doubt
Judgment
These will love us to death

You have the opportunity to help someone
Unconditional love
Complete acceptance
Aren’t we all seeking the same

Be the change
Empower
Inspire
Accept without limitations


xoxo
♥️me
8/15/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

My Truth

A privilege to hear
A story to tell
A glimpse inside

My courage
My pain
My perspective

Woven with lies and trauma
Crafted by manipulation
At the hands of the insane Told by me
My story


xoxo
♥️me
8/10/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com



Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: