Anthology

I am incredibly honored to have 3 pieces selected for inclusion in the anthology, Screaming from the Silence

@vociferouspress @nightandsparrow

Screaming from the Silence consists of three sections:

Stanzas from the Silence – poetry

Stories from the Silence – prose

Sketches from the Silence – visual art

Coming January 2020

Christmas Shenanigans

5am Christmas Morning 2018

Twas the night before Christmas out in the country
Everyone was sleeping Snoring can be heard all through the house
My gun close by if I were to see a mouse

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care
I hope this yummy chocolate candy wasn’t meant to go in there

Out in the hall I made a big clatter
Gathering all the necessities for a little late night platter

It was a long drive here
And a few cappuccinos has me wired up so sleep is not near

Visions of family time, gifts and snacks
While trying to remain focused while driving
Singing and dodging all the deer

Now that I think about it I could really go for a beer
So out on the porch I sit listening to the sounds
Staring at the stars
Freezing my ass off even with all my layered winter gear


Pretty sure I hear a pig, or a coyote, maybe a deer
But it’s totally normal in these types of towns

I wonder if there are any bears
Gasp, OMG the chupacabra could also live here
Well frick
I hope not
If I’m not seen in the morning I probably wandered off in search of the perfect lighting to capture photos of creatures near

The thing about the silence Any and all noise definitely travels around
I’m almost certain the rustle of my late night snacks have already awakened
The 5 people that live in this town

XOXO Taylor Grace

Flight of Heart

I held it in
It was hard but I managed
Inside I was breaking
But I smiled

Just a little boy heading off on an adventure
You will always be that little boy to me
As the flight attendant took your hand
I gripped tight to my emotions
A mother’s love
Ensuring you didn’t see

No tears would fall
Heading towards the plane
Your back to me
I stood waiting

All my effort focused on holding back the emotions
Just before you were out of sight
You turned back to me
Those eyes
Fear and uncertainty

Again I smiled
That reassuring glow
Just enough
You smiled back
A little wave

To say, I’m ok Mom

Then you were gone
A sigh release
For I could no longer control the emotions bubbling up inside me
With tears streaming down my face
Unable to compose myself
I walked away

Through the airport
Where we had both arrived
I now walked alone
And I cried

I don’t remember the drive home
I do remember feeling so alone
The house was silent
I waited for your call
The phone finally rang
It was you
You made it there safely

The next 2 weeks
Seemed like an eternity
But before I knew it
I was back at the airport
Impatiently waiting

I caught a glimpse
My little boy
Running full speed
Tears again in my eyes

You missed me too
Big hugs
Lots of smiles

My sweet boy
Momma loves you
And is so happy for you to be back home with her tonight.

My Heart

Adoptee

🖤
You did
You always have
Countless moments
New mom and dad
An eternity not sufficient enough
To realize the greatness you posses
A measurement doesn’t exist to capture all that you give
Unconditional love
A selfless gift
Adoption
What it means
From an adoptee

Deserted

I wander quietly on a deserted beach

Tides of emotions caress me

Love crashing against the sea

Bitter chill in the breeze

A million thoughts

Questioning everything

🖤

The truth

It was real

It’s done

Heartache’s silent embrace

Gift of Finality


Saying Goodbye

And there it was
Spoken outloud
The words cutting deep
We knew it was lingering
Something about the finality
Realization
Sadness
Anger
Overwhelming thoughts
Impending disaster
Decisions
Splitting assets
Selling everything
Mutually agreed
There is no coming back
No redo
Options exhausted
It’s real
It’s happening
Divorce
Ending of our dreams
Saying goodbye to you and me

xoxo
♥️me
10/02/2019

Waves of Need

Our journey may be different
Our needs evolve over time
Our wants fluctuate
Sometimes leaving behind troubled waters

Like the flow of the ocean, hard and consuming, it can leave us submerged
During the emotional storms we often struggle just to remain afloat

When the waters are calm and serene we sink blindly into the unknown dangers below the surface
This isn’t the way your life has to go

Our deep buried emotions can attempt to drown us temporarily or teach us to swim forever

The water, like our emotions, can be misleading
Our view can be distorted depending on where we currently stand
The terror is frightening if your desperately treading water in the sea
Alternatively
The warm, sweet, & blissful release of comfort and security is only realized once you make it to the beach


Realization crashing against the sand of our circumstance
It’s your journey
It’s your life, in your hands
Sometimes we need to reach out and that is where strength comes in

The weight of the ocean will only leave you treading water
That’s not a place you can sustain, only staying afloat until the weight of the pain is too intense

The ocean’s current below you working to pull you in, like the negativity you have deep within

So many are standing just on the sand, waiting, offering and willing to give you a hand
You only need to take that chance grab it

We each need assistance at some point


For someone to encourage, validate and tell us we can, we are and save us from drowning in the flood of emotions

Strength comes when you don’t have many other options, so let is save you
from life’s waves of high tides and sinking further in the lows.

xoxo
♥️me
7/14/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Serenaded by the sea

The Ugly Truth

I was born into a life no child should ever have to experience.

I have never known a Father’s love but instead a Father’s rage, addiction, violence, and being sexually abused.

I was only 2 when he stole a bigger part of me.
I was too young & didn’t understand but was left feeling confused.

I was only 4 when he ripped me apart physically.

Years & years of laughter, love, & joy were not what would be in store for me.
Instead i have faced countless surgeries, unbearable pain and eventually heartbreaking infertility.

Through no fault of my own just another thing he took from me.

The physical scars have distorted my body.
But it’s the emotional wreckage that has continued to haunt me.

I often wonder what that little girl would have grown up to be.

If only she hadn’t been so viciously stolen from me.
She had no time for playtime, fairytales, hopes or dreams.

But instead staying alive & keeping her sanity would be her biggest priority.

You may think she is a survivor & how true that might be
But it certainly doesn’t feel that simple with the daily reminders & horrific memories.

I was only 7 when she abandoned me.
A mother’s love,that I did not see.

Where was my protector & biggest fan.

The person who was suppose to build me up & tell me I can.
Horribly failed me in the short time we had together.
I only wished that she could have loved me better.
What was so wrong with me that my own birth parents could cause so much damage & destruction.
Not stopping to think about how all this would forever affect me.

I continue today living through all the repercussions.
What a tragedy at how my life started off to be.
All because they put addiction, abuse, violence, wants & selfish needs first instead of me.

Years of therapy, doctors & medication could never replace the shattered pieces of my heart, soul & innocence that they have stolen from me.

No justice was served or consequence for them to bare
Although apart they live worry free
No second thought of the damage caused to me
It is my burden to bare, as they live their life vicariously
Wronged yet again through the system, and no justice will ever prevail for me.

The truth never hurts
Their lies disgusting 
Unable to rewrite history
Validation arrives on shattered dreams
My truth, written for all eternity

§



xoxo
♥️me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

My Mother Said

Tuesday Writing Prompt Challenge “My Mother Said”

She said a million things
A few still resonate with me
Visions of love, compassion and grace
Reflecting through the smile on her face
She didn’t have to love me
She didn’t have to raise me
She didn’t have to pick me
But she did
Adoption is everything to me
It is how I am still able to chase my dreams

A woman of such incredible beauty
Her kindness shines through the memories
While she is gone, she is still here
Dementia has stolen her memory
But occasionally she comes back to me
The last time she did
My mother told me how much she has missed me, how proud she is of me and how much she loves me
Those are the moments I cherish
For one day soon
It will be all that I will have to hold on to.

xoxo
♥️me
thebrokeninsideofme.com

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