Christmas Shenanigans

5am Christmas Morning 2018

Twas the night before Christmas out in the country
Everyone was sleeping Snoring can be heard all through the house
My gun close by if I were to see a mouse

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care
I hope this yummy chocolate candy wasn’t meant to go in there

Out in the hall I made a big clatter
Gathering all the necessities for a little late night platter

It was a long drive here
And a few cappuccinos has me wired up so sleep is not near

Visions of family time, gifts and snacks
While trying to remain focused while driving
Singing and dodging all the deer

Now that I think about it I could really go for a beer
So out on the porch I sit listening to the sounds
Staring at the stars
Freezing my ass off even with all my layered winter gear


Pretty sure I hear a pig, or a coyote, maybe a deer
But it’s totally normal in these types of towns

I wonder if there are any bears
Gasp, OMG the chupacabra could also live here
Well frick
I hope not
If I’m not seen in the morning I probably wandered off in search of the perfect lighting to capture photos of creatures near

The thing about the silence Any and all noise definitely travels around
I’m almost certain the rustle of my late night snacks have already awakened
The 5 people that live in this town

XOXO Taylor Grace

Love Sings

Words from the heart
Offering forever
Unconditional love
Comforting even the broken parts
His arms for protecting
Singing loves melody
Without hesitation
An offering
As he spoke, “It has always been you”
Realizing a dream
All of him
Forever and an eternity
Loves all of me


Beloved


Chest pressed tightly
Heartbeats echo
Melodic rhythm
Soulful tones

Your body
Stroking intimacy
Serene notes
Encompassed harmony

Intoxicating scent
Sandalwood
Musk
Inhaled essence
Captivating melody

Beloved symphony
Orchestrated notes
Fading into your song
Chorus of dreams

xoxo
♥️me
10/12/2019

2017 Tried to Break Me

2017 has come to an end, I just want to take a moment to let you know, for me this is how it’s been.

A couple of resolutions that I finally made my priority, when I put my mind to something, then you know that it isn’t a maybe but a 100% guarantee. I have worked my ass off (quite literally) to be the best possible version of me I can be. I have won some, lost some but I continue to start each day with a fresh perspective, renewed purpose and try again. I’m still proud of the better me, that I strive each day to be.

My physical health was one of those top priorities and I’m happy to report that there’s a much healthier and smaller version of me going into 2018. It’s astonishing the difference a few pounds can have on so many things. I found an amazing gym family that always sets their focus on empowering women, positive vibes, inspiring, the beauty in each member and lots of dancing, laughing, booty werk and all the sillyness that fits me perfectly.

Unfortunately I did have a few health issues that required 3 emergency surgeries and I’m still recovering from the last one. I pray it gets better and don’t lose my sight permanently.

Another focus was to dig down deep in order to sit with my anger, pain, and finally talk about some of the broken pieces that have been hidden inside for an eternity. While that has taken a toll on some relationships, finally calling someone out on their bullshit was quite therapeutic for me.

I shouldn’t have been so surprised when you waited until no one was around in order to spew all that hatred and completely obliterate every part of me but at the end of the day, you will forever stay stuck with only the memories and the knowledge that you will never again hear from me. Continue to twist the words for sympathy, turn others againist me, but please remember I know who you really are since those evil pieces were inherited by me. The difference is I turn it inward instead of using it as arsenal againist those I call family. I’ll be the scapegoat of your pretend fairytale family since you’ve paid such close attention to convince others and have a real talent for re-writing the truth out of actual history. I’m the one covered in the physical and mental scars of your choices, your mistakes, your neglect so there is no lying to me.

My little Sky bear, a true gift from God, has absolutely grown into the most perfect guy and I cherish his love, laughter and all the sweetness he shows me. I am so proud of him in so many ways, his heart, his intelligence, his strength, his ambition, his complete acceptance and the many things he has taught me. I adore his morning hugs and cuddles and the fact that I get to be his Mom, his safe place and I love him 100% unconditionally.

I’ve experienced some amazing success, loss, heartbreak but still was able to find my inner peace. I have laughed so hard that I could barely breathe. I’ve cried so hard all I could do was fall to the floor and beg God for his loving mercy.

In some of my darkest hours I found myself completely alone, I know I’m a complex person but just needed the same love and support in return that I have always shown. I’ve given up control of a few things in order to better focus my energy on those most important to me. I have realized that there is a very small number of people in this entire world that I can depend on if I’m in an emergency, go to for advice, won’t judge or share my words and accepts my crazy, silly, loud, broken and all the sharp edges that makeup the pieces that are me.

Thanks to the devastation from hurricane Harvey, I’ve lived through some terrifying and stressful moments that still continue. When you see your whole life floating under water it is a new sadness that I didn’t want to know. Trying to rebuild this house isn’t an easy task and it still doesn’t have the same warm feeling as the place I use to call my home.

We are no closer to being finished as we were a month ago, in fact the only things accomplished so far are new walls, partial flooring, and some doors half done so a long road ahead until I can finally say we are done.

Water has always been my safe place, something that provided comfort but now the rain brings back those memories of quite desperation and the fear of the unknown.

The kindness of a few people, mostly complete strangers, fed my family, provided necessities, even helped with demo when there was no one else who was here to help my family. It was a surreal feeling not knowing how I would fed my family, we were stuck, no vehicles, no kitchen, no frig or freezer so only some pantry items that didn’t get ruined and I didn’t eat for days to ensure my guys had enough because that’s what was most important to me.

Thanksgiving day came & went, we had chips & dips and went driving around since I finally had a car again to get out of the house and see some pre black Friday deals. I truly felt like a failure as a mom since that is never the thanksgiving memory I wanted him to have but couldn’t prepare him a big feast and with no invites for dinner I did the best I could with what I had.

I hope and pray that 2018 is a more joyful year and that we are able to put all the missing & broken pieces together and re-direct our focus on the hopes, dreams and make many happy memories that will bring smiles to my little family because that is what I hold close to my heart and their happiness is most important to me.


xoxo
♥️Me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
12/31/2017

Temptress

 

Her eyes
Gravity pulls you in
Don’t resist
She always wins

Sultry presence
Smoldering
Igniting a blaze

The curves of her body
Caressing your mind
Sparks flying
If only, in another time

Her bosom
Amplifying from her chest
Just enough
She caught you peeking
Entertaining your gaze she leans forward
A sexy little tease
If only you could kiss those breast

Intoxicating temptress
No need to cast any spells
She knows what she’s doing and does it so very well
Merely a vision or right out of your fantasies

Her tone, speaks sexuality
“Come hither”, she whispers
Before you even realize
You have followed her command
She possesses an unknown energy
You are completely lost in her trance

Leading you to her chamber
She will take you
She will please you
She will use you
She will steal your last breath
She will leave marks on your body of pleasure and pain
Just as you are coming undone
She will leave you
With nothing but a gaping hole in your chest
And she is gone
As you lay there struggling to find your breath
You will die with her image and still wanting her more


xoxo
♥️me
8/1/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Sound of Memories


A melody that echos her presence
Orchestrated by the breeze
Soft tones ring
Amplified hard pings
Cascading notes
Bellowed tings
Amazing compilation
The sound of memories
Once her wind chimes
Now my private symphony

xoxo
♥️me
7/24/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Music = Mood

In This Moment, “Scarlet”

Godsmack, “Under your Scars”

In This Moment, “The Fighter”

Apocalyptica, “Not Strong Enough”

Staind, “The Truth”

Staind, Epiphany

Creed, “Tame my Mind”

Korn, “Coming Undone”

In This Moment, “Sick Like Me”

In This Moment, “Half God, Half Devil”

Godsmack “Serenity”

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