Did you know You are never alone Despite the days, weeks, months or years that pass In my heart, my thoughts and my prayers I am here
Did you know
Not time, nor distance, or the words unspoken
Could ever take away the bond we share
That kind of unconditional love doesn’t get broken
I am here
Did you know
The pain, the heartache, and sense of never belonging
Forever stealing the joy of most days
We are both broken just in different ways
I am here
Did you know
That hopeless feeling, the endless running and the demons that encase us
All just a quiet moment away
I know who you are because I am the same
I am here
Did you know
The childhood memories I hold near
They all include you
You were the light on some of my darkest days
You are my Bubba
And I am still here
Never the priority Despite offering him all of me Running in circles Laughing & Loving Running & Crying All at the same time
Unrealistic expectations I understand & could agree It’s just not that simple At least when I say it to the inner me
My heart is hurting What have I done Why didn’t I realize beforehand It’s too late now I’ve given away more pieces The pieces of me Still not enough Guess I never will be
All I’ve ever wanted Right beyond my reach Why does it always seem too difficult Why can’t someone completely love & want all the pieces that are me
The words left unspoken Would it matter Absence of a kiss Would it be missed Early morning embrace What if it never took place Holding your hand Would it be longed for ∼·∼ If we, were never us Would your heart understand ∼·∼ I miss you I miss the you, before life got in the way I miss the us, that lived for the moment I miss the way you gazed at me Such love, compassion, and intensity ∼·∼ Gone are the moments Love is history I just wanted to know Would you miss me
Visualization of identity The fire burning in me The beauty of everything The world around me My playground Life Love Fantasies Igniting every part of me Exploding creativity Setting me free
Waves crash Birds sing Swirling emotions Soul exposed The water Happiness reflected Nature’s heat Simple luxury Calmed and composed Beautiful and serine Warm sand beneath my toes Relaxed and carefree In love with the ocean Picture perfect And the peace it brings
An accidental meeting, spurred by a bump in a crowded night club
She had seen him throughout the night
But he spotted her as soon as he walked in
In the crowded hustle and bustle of people laughing, drinking and dancing, she stood out to him A beauty in a white tank and blue jeans The smile that flashed across her face invited him in immediately
She was engrossed in her friends, cocktails and didn’t notice immediately She was surrounded by guys and a couple of ladies He thought to himself, she is taken but she wasn’t
Captivated by her He made his way to the back bar for a beer Settling on a seat close to the dance floor across from her He had to see more of her He didn’t know what it was but she struck him and he was drawn in completely Everyone else faded in the distance Attempting to remain cool and not creepy, he socialized but always kept an eye on her location He couldn’t help it Completely mesmerized by her presence and unapologetic personality
She noticed him at this point and was drawn to him as well Being the fun loving silly girl she is, she grabbed her best friend and headed for the dance floor The floor had ample room to dance as it was deserted at that point but she was bold and unafraid She casually walked over near him, settling within arms reach of him She laughed, and danced Knowing all the while, he was right there watching She knew he was close enough to smell her sunny citrus and vanilla perfume It was her signature scent And left a lasting impression on those around her
Spinning around effortlessly at one point she intentionally landed facing him, her glaze searching for his eyes She found them and he looked up at her and smiled That moment the world stopped, the music faded, the people disappeared and for a few seconds, it was just her and him Feeling the weight of the moment and the alcohol induced trance she became embarrassed and turned away
The song ended, she returned to her table and friends Thinking to herself, hmmm he must not be interested or he is taken since he did not oblige her obvious interest She was wrong
The drinks were flowing Fun was being had She was lost in her world She glanced to were he had been sitting most of the night but he was no longer sitting, across from her She sighed, and went on about her night
He was still just as intrigued and lost in her, however he had relocated to a different spot at the bar with some friends He was laughing and carrying on with some friends when he felt a bump in his side There was plenty of space around him so he spun around wondering what was going on
It was her The one he had be captivated by since his arrival No words were available to him Like not a peep would leave his lips She however had a few words for him, “How are you going to watch me all night and not have the balls to come ask me to dance?”
He was dumbfounded Again his voice betrayed him. Nothing left his lips And she was gone Making her way to the door In an instant he decided, this one will not slip away from me He chased after her Tapped her on the shoulder, “Ma’am may I have this dance?” She laughed Her friend said no we are leaving, very sternly But she knew she had to dance with him, just once
He led her to the dance floor They were immediately in their own world Music played in the background, as they were lost in each others embrace Stumbling over the electrical force connecting them Almost magical Laughing Spinning Flirting Dancing Their bodies Their minds Suddenly the song came to an end They left the dance floor His arm across her waist, guiding her and maybe the last embrace in his mind
They chatted briefly Exchanging pleasantries and introductions Her friend suddenly cast a damper on their moment, “It’s time to go” She was intoxicated by the drinks and also by him Goodbye, she said, with a little smile and wave
He turned to walk away but something struck him deeply inside, a voice of sorts, do not let her walk away without having a way to contact her
He once again hurriedly turned to catch up with her He managed to reach her right before she walked out “Let me get your phone number” he requested She replied, “I don’t give out my number, sorry” Here give me yours, so he got a napkin from the bar and a pen from the bartender and started writing down his number but it struck him, she will not call me, I can tell she is too intoxicated to even remember me
He firmly stated, “I need your phone number” She was shocked at his intensity and kind of aroused by it, so she complied
A couple days later she received a call but didn’t answer There was a voicemail, from a guy she didn’t remember She immediately phoned her best friend, hoping to gain insight but with no luck she ignored the message and him
The next day she was alone, bored and the phone rang, without thinking she answered it immediately It was him They chatted for a while before hanging up She made one request during that call, text me a picture please He agreed The picture popped up and her mind was still blank
They chatted again the next day for hours Conversation just came easy for them No empty lulls No awkward silence Just talking about life and learning about each others stories and experiences This happened daily for a few weeks
They talked for hours Laughing Getting to know each other Hearing the strength and struggles of each others lives He repeatedly asked to see her, to take her out on a date and she denied him each time
This was all new to her, the dating scene and she was not one to trust anyone but he understood and continued their daily phone calls Calls that drained fully charged batteries Calls that spurred interest Calls that created excitement Calls that were dropped because battery died and hurried charges prompted a call back Tethered phones plugged in so conversations wouldn’t end abruptly
Finally after a few weeks she decided she was ready to meet him in person Since their first meeting was a blur, thanks to the lively spirits served to her at the bar She got home from work and called him Nervously she said, “Do you want to come over to my apartment tonight and play poker with me and some friends?”
She anxiously waited his reply “Sure, I can make that happen” he stated, trying to play down his nervous excitement So there it was A first date
She was anxious but immediately focused on, what will I wear?! The next couple of hours, she must have tried on 15 outfits searching for that perfect one, so much in fact she was exhausted and now sweaty Makeup running, hair now piled up on her head, she collapsed on the bed
Time for a pep talk, ok you got this, you know him, he already saw you dishevelled at a bar, clearly you are in better place and he has proven that over and over with the long phone calls, little sleep and his acceptance to come over “Okay, I am beautiful woman with great personality, he would be lucky to have me!” She said outloud to herself
So now empowered, she grabbed a little gray causal dress, touched up her makeup, took her hair down and cranked down the air conditioner As she is finishing up, he calls to let her know he is almost there Panic sets in Oh my gosh Eeeekkk I’m not ready for this Before she could internally freak out any further, he calls to ask which side of the apartment complex she is on
She walks out to her balcony, and sees him drive by slowly, her heart stops
Then accelerated so quickly, she thought she was surely about to pass out But he parked and looked up at her and she again mustered up enough courage to walk back in from the balcony to her apartment and out the front door
She lived on 3rd floor so she had a moment to prepare herself She could hear his boots coming up the stairs Inching closer to her
And then, there he was He walked up, said hi She smiled He went in to give her a big hug And that’s when it happened
Without planning she leaned in and gave him a huge kiss She pulled back to look at him
They were both in shock at what just happened He stepped back away from her, as if to catch himself falling
She finally spoke, “I just wanted to get that out of the way so it wouldn’t be awkward later” They both giggled He was in shock still as she invited him in The rest of the night was great She just had to get that first kiss out of the way
