🖤
You did
You always have
Countless moments
New mom and dad
An eternity not sufficient enough
To realize the greatness you posses
A measurement doesn’t exist to capture all that you give
Unconditional love
A selfless gift
Adoption
What it means
From an adoptee
Which version do you prefer me to be?
The me that doesn’t always suit you quite so perfectly
The me that fits your perception of who I should be
The me who never has moments of weakness that brings me to my knees
It is difficult trying to be who everyone wants me to be
One day I’m going to only have myself to please
I reach out for your hand, repeatedly waiting just for someone to understand
Love me
Hate me
There is no in between
I understand though because I feel the same things
I’ve spent my whole life just trying to breathe
Still to this day I run, I hide, driving around aimlessly in an attempt ignore the brokenness that is inside
The only thing I really need is someone to listen and comfort the pieces that are me
I know they say love comes with a cost Maybe I’m just tired of feeling so damn lost
Not feeling accepted has taken a toll on me
Devastation added on top of the underlying pain
Nothing I can do but sit holding no one accountable
What else would you expect me to do
I turn it all inside
Carrying all the burdens
Hiding all the shame
Running from the memories
At the end of the day I have no one to blame
It’s ok though because I know that pain
I feel invisible
Nothing to lose
Oh wait, that’s right
That’s when I get told I don’t have a clue
I wonder if I’ve ever really showed anyone who I really am
My broken pieces run far to deep
Inside my demons constantly keeping me from sleep
Continually re-victimized by the very same voices that keep feeding me lies
Just when I feel I can’t hold on one more day, it occurs to me that no one is coming to save me and it doesn’t even matter if I were to walk away
All the labels and judgment
Fill my ears
But again no one knows the shell of a woman standing in front of them
Too sensitive
Too bossy
Too picky
Too upset
Too cautious
Too angry
Too hurt
Too organized
Too right
Too wrong
Too isolated
Too weak
Too strong
Too emotional
Too tired
Too sexy
Too much
Too difficult
Too quiet
Too old
Too kind
Too loud
Too thoughtful
Too busy
Too hyper
Too complicated
Too Broken
Surrounded by all the voices
Seeming so intrigued
Fascinated by my words & wisdom
They like me
They love me
Oops once again I’ve been misled
They were only passing the time
And never again thought of me
Have you ever truly felt this alone?
There are so many of you that make me feel your words so deeply, that I look forward to reading your new writings when you post them.
You challenge my thoughts, inspire my soul, provoke deep emotions, provide comfort, make me smile, and often remind me that whatever I am facing, I am not alone. I truly appreciate your words, your soul baring, raw truths and the way it impacts me and so many others.
Embracing your unapologetic authenticity can be daunting and sharing it to the world, a true strength, I admire. I offer my gratitude to each of you.
https://hisnamewaszach.wordpress.com/
http://thelightison.blog
https://afadedromantic.wordpress.com/
https://afragilemind.home.blog/2019/10/22/done-in/
https://sirhanz.home.blog/2019/10/22/in-between/
https://shortprose.blog/2019/10/22/children-of-the-first-amen-autumn-poem-poetry/
https://freeverserevolution.wordpress.com/2019/10/22/hope-in-dreams-mark-tulin/
https://whisperandtheroar.com/2019/09/24/the-circle-of-life-christine-bolton/
https://millenniallifecrisis.org/2019/10/06/stay-humble-and-hustle-hard/
http://lookinginyourwindow.com
http://iwriteher.com
https://eatdelight3.com/2019/10/17/the-opposite/
http://drbogdan.home.blog
https://michael2malachi.wordpress.com/2019/10/21/words-2/
https://renardsworld.wordpress.com/2019/10/05/how-to-be-a-wise-blogger/
https://theblightersrock.wordpress.com/2019/10/22/opus-2/
https://joysblessingspoetry.com/2019/10/21/tendrils-of-light/
xoxo
❤me
As the day fades
Blue sky reflects hues of the bay
White clouds passing by
Graying shades
Under approaching stormy night
Birds flying in synchrony
Lizards chasing bugs up the tree
Bright orange butterflies are a beautiful sight
A white dove perched up high coos to me
Memories in the making
As I look to the ever changing sky
I long for your presence by my side
One last hug
You holding me tight
My wish
Just one more moment
You, enjoying this with me
xoxo
♥️me
10/17/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
To hold
A dream
Body craving
A kiss
Lips taste so sweet
♡
Your touch
Surrendering
If you could be mine
Time would be counted by your embrace
Cascading fantasy
Essence of you
Embodied fervor
Stealing my breath
Rhythm accelerates in my chest
Entangling lust
Exquisitely bonded
My heart complete
If only….
xoxo
♥️me
9/30/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
Our journey may be different
Our needs evolve over time
Our wants fluctuate
Sometimes leaving behind troubled waters
Like the flow of the ocean, hard and consuming, it can leave us submerged
During the emotional storms we often struggle just to remain afloat
When the waters are calm and serene we sink blindly into the unknown dangers below the surface
This isn’t the way your life has to go
Our deep buried emotions can attempt to drown us temporarily or teach us to swim forever
The water, like our emotions, can be misleading
Our view can be distorted depending on where we currently stand
The terror is frightening if your desperately treading water in the sea
Alternatively
The warm, sweet, & blissful release of comfort and security is only realized once you make it to the beach
Realization crashing against the sand of our circumstance
It’s your journey
It’s your life, in your hands
Sometimes we need to reach out and that is where strength comes in
The weight of the ocean will only leave you treading water
That’s not a place you can sustain, only staying afloat until the weight of the pain is too intense
The ocean’s current below you working to pull you in, like the negativity you have deep within
So many are standing just on the sand, waiting, offering and willing to give you a hand
You only need to take that chance grab it
We each need assistance at some point
For someone to encourage, validate and tell us we can, we are and save us from drowning in the flood of emotions
Strength comes when you don’t have many other options, so let is save you
from life’s waves of high tides and sinking further in the lows.
xoxo
♥️me
7/14/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
Did you know
You are never alone
Despite the days, weeks, months or years that pass
In my heart, my thoughts and my prayers
I am here
Did you know
Not time, nor distance, or the words unspoken
Could ever take away the bond we share
That kind of unconditional love doesn’t get broken
I am here
Did you know
The pain, the heartache, and sense of never belonging
Forever stealing the joy of most days
We are both broken just in different ways
I am here
Did you know
That hopeless feeling, the endless running and the demons that encase us
All just a quiet moment away
I know who you are because I am the same
I am here
Did you know
The childhood memories I hold near
They all include you
You were the light on some of my darkest days
You are my Bubba
And I am still here
xoxo
❤me
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
#CreativeTalentsUnleashed
A day of heartbreak
Fueled by memories
Horror unfolding
Reflecting on what was
Before disruption of peace
Somber moments
New realities
Life lost
Senseless tragedy
I honor them all
My thoughts with their families
Today they cry alone
As their loved ones never came home.
xoxo
♥️me
9/11/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
Layers
Self protection
Numerous
Her core never seen
Slowly blooming
Realization
Soul bare
Vulnerable
Apprehensive to be seen
Strength brought to light
A survivor
Fear and honesty
Co-mingling
Glorious determination
Gaining momentum
With the drop of every leaf
Falling apart
Roots run deep
My pieces
Finding strength
xoxo
♥️me
9/3/2019
Thebrokeninsideofme.com
