Which version do you prefer me to be?
The me that doesn’t always suit you quite so perfectly
The me that fits your perception of who I should be
The me who never has moments of weakness that brings me to my knees
It is difficult trying to be who everyone wants me to be
One day I’m going to only have myself to please
I reach out for your hand, repeatedly waiting just for someone to understand
Love me
Hate me
There is no in between
I understand though because I feel the same things
I’ve spent my whole life just trying to breathe
Still to this day I run, I hide, driving around aimlessly in an attempt to ignore the brokenness that is inside
The only thing I really need is someone to listen and comfort the pieces that are me
I know they say love comes with a cost
Maybe I’m just tired of feeling so damn lost
Not feeling accepted has taken a toll on me
Devastation added on top of the underlying pain
Nothing I can do but sit holding no one accountable
What else would you expect me to do
I turn it all inside
Carrying all the burdens
Hiding all the shame
Running from the memories
At the end of the day I have no one to blame
It’s ok though because I know that pain
I feel invisible
Nothing to lose
Oh wait, that’s right
That’s when I get told I don’t have a clue
I wonder if I’ve ever really showed anyone who I really am
My broken pieces run far too deep
Inside my demons constantly keeping me from sleep
Continually re-victimized by the very same voices that keep feeding me lies
Just when I feel I can’t hold on one more day, it occurs to me that no one is coming to save me and it doesn’t even matter if I were to walk away
All the labels and judgment
Fill my ears
But again no one knows the shell of a woman standing in front of them
Too sensitive
Too bossy
Too picky
Too upset
Too cautious
Too angry
Too hurt
Too organized
Too right
Too wrong
Too isolated
Too weak
Too strong
Too emotional
Too tired
Too sexy
Too much
Too difficult
Too quiet
Too old
Too kind
Too loud
Too thoughtful
Too busy
Too hyper
Too complicated
Too Broken
Surrounded by all the voices
Seeming so intrigued
Fascinated by my words and wisdom
They like me
They love me
Oops once again I’ve been misled
They were only passing the time
And never again thought of me
Have you ever truly felt this alone?
Like this:
Like Loading...
