Flight of Heart

I held it in
It was hard but I managed
Inside I was breaking
But I smiled

Just a little boy heading off on an adventure
You will always be that little boy to me
As the flight attendant took your hand
I gripped tight to my emotions
A mother’s love
Ensuring you didn’t see

No tears would fall
Heading towards the plane
Your back to me
I stood waiting

All my effort focused on holding back the emotions
Just before you were out of sight
You turned back to me
Those eyes
Fear and uncertainty

Again I smiled
That reassuring glow
Just enough
You smiled back
A little wave

To say, I’m ok Mom

Then you were gone
A sigh release
For I could no longer control the emotions bubbling up inside me
With tears streaming down my face
Unable to compose myself
I walked away

Through the airport
Where we had both arrived
I now walked alone
And I cried

I don’t remember the drive home
I do remember feeling so alone
The house was silent
I waited for your call
The phone finally rang
It was you
You made it there safely

The next 2 weeks
Seemed like an eternity
But before I knew it
I was back at the airport
Impatiently waiting

I caught a glimpse
My little boy
Running full speed
Tears again in my eyes

You missed me too
Big hugs
Lots of smiles

My sweet boy
Momma loves you
And is so happy for you to be back home with her tonight.

My Heart

Harvey

Well it’s been one year
Since your path of destruction danced across Texas

Like an uninvited guest
You lingered way too long
Finally your departure cleared way for sunshine and sorrow

Our community submerged but we joined together and came out fighting Bay Colony Strong

Flooded with emotion
Depleted of the basic necessities
Relying on the kindness of strangers and a few close friends/family

Grateful for surviving
But our whole life sitting on the curb
Soaking wet memories floating around
Everything reduced to nothing but an eyesore as the trash continued to pile up
Before I knew it the house was no longer visible except for the 2nd story

Unfortunately it wasn’t just isolated to us but many families shared the same horror
Seeing everything you worked so hard for sitting there damaged day after day, week after week was an unwanted daily reminder of all you lost however I tell myself to focus on the positive, be grateful it wasn’t a worse outcome and say a prayer for those that paid the ultimate cost

So many stressed, sad and heartbroken faces but can’t deal with that now because the bank, the insurance, the mortgage, the claims, FEMA, must pull it all together, document everything, take pictures, make videos, get the vehicles towed, check in daily, send emails, make calls, do demo and try to remain calm when they are all attempting to screw you over but because we are parents and the kiddos have been through enough so had to suck it up and save the tears for later and maintain my composure until he is in bed then it’s your time and you could completely lose it and breakdown

Your most cherished items can never be replaced and the sight of them covered in mold and nastiness, leaves a profound feeling of sadness
But there is so much to do so you push it way, refocus and thank God for surviving and delivering the angels that show up as complete strangers ready to help anyway they can

I am forever changed by their Kindness
Compassion
Willingness to help
For feeding my family
Delivering bottled water
Household Supplies
Prayers in the driveway
Encouragement
Doing our laundry
Just listening
And so much more

Ignorant to what we would be facing moving forward, is an understatement but I hope to never need this knowledge or experience ever again

Yes, it has only been one year
but to be honest it has felt like 10 and at other times it feels as if it was only weeks ago, when the weight of it slowly starts to consume me, I flash back to the moments of fear for so many who were close to not being found

Instead they were rescued just moments before they were out of options and they would have drowned
So many lives lost, not just those needing rescue but also those who risked it all for complete strangers to ensure they were delivered to a safe place on higher and dry ground

We, like so many others, are still not finished rebuilding, restoring, overcoming, or least of all ready, willing or able to deal with or face the overwhelming emotions, brought back a million times by each thunderstorm or heavy rainfall, that has threatened our progress and challenged our sanity ever since

We definitely lost it all
But like others in our community we just keep moving, pushing forward, thankful for the blessings, those that stepped up, showed us kindness, and made this whole nightmare a joint effort to help each other

It was the most beautiful outcome to experience and witness
No judgment
No hate
No fighting
No social media bashing
No rude comments
No asshole drivers
No typical daily distractions

Just an overwhelming effort to join together, support, aid and help your community
We all did what we could even if it was just sitting and listening or embracing a neighbor as the tears came rolling down

We were not just residents of Galveston county but instead just one big community banded together
What an incredible memory
It has been a year but I’ll always be thankful for those moments and will forever carry them with me
They were that profoundxoxo

♥️me

8/27/2018

Thebrokeninsideofme.com

Beginnings

The perfect little baby

A few sprigs of blonde hair

Big hazel eyes for all the world to see

Following the lights

Tracing the shapes

Fascinating just to watch

After all, it was his very first time to see

Sounds fill the room

Laughter, crying, beeping and noise from the machines

Yet he hears a familiar voice

Yes, it’s his mommy & daddy

It immediately begins to soothe his nervous energy

New noises capturing his attention

Listening and learning, just trying to understand

A big day of new beginnings

A special love as you capture our heart

Our family is now complete, with our newest little addition,

Mommy + Daddy + Baby = Perfect little family of 3

Excitement, opportunities, growing, and all the while making memories

But with so many things to hear and see, it will take a lifetime of new experiences for it all to fall into place

Like a puzzle, life will fit perfectly, there will be missing pieces, you will search high and low for the perfect match and often along the way you will reach out for mommy and daddy’s hand to help guide you, pick you up when you are in pieces and for those moments when all you need is the comfort and support of those who love you unconditionally.

Growing up is a beautiful experience and scattered along the path are unforgettable moments, heartbreaking sadness, laughing until you cry and every emotion Inbetween.

I know you are anxious

I know you are ready

I know you have been waiting your whole life for this moment

I know you can taste the freedom

I know you look forward to starting on your own

I also know there will be nights when all you want is to be back home

I also know there will be a little voice in your head telling you to clean up after yourself

I also know it might get lonely in that big ole world all alone

Just remember you dont have to bare it all by yourself

Just remember we are here right where you left us, missing you too

Just remember you are our biggest accomplishment

You have made us so proud

You are beautifully and wonderfully made

You can

You have

You will

You are

You got this

And we got you

Forever and Always

Your biggest fan

xoxo

❤ mom

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