Our journey may be different Our needs evolve over time Our wants fluctuate Sometimes leaving behind troubled waters
Like the flow of the ocean, hard and consuming, it can leave us submerged During the emotional storms we often struggle just to remain afloat
When the waters are calm and serene we sink blindly into the unknown dangers below the surface This isn’t the way your life has to go
Our deep buried emotions can attempt to drown us temporarily or teach us to swim forever
The water, like our emotions, can be misleading Our view can be distorted depending on where we currently stand The terror is frightening if your desperately treading water in the sea Alternatively The warm, sweet, & blissful release of comfort and security is only realized once you make it to the beach
Realization crashing against the sand of our circumstance It’s your journey It’s your life, in your hands Sometimes we need to reach out and that is where strength comes in
The weight of the ocean will only leave you treading water That’s not a place you can sustain, only staying afloat until the weight of the pain is too intense
The ocean’s current below you working to pull you in, like the negativity you have deep within
So many are standing just on the sand, waiting, offering and willing to give you a hand You only need to take that chance grab it
We each need assistance at some point
For someone to encourage, validate and tell us we can, we are and save us from drowning in the flood of emotions
Strength comes when you don’t have many other options, so let is save you from life’s waves of high tides and sinking further in the lows.
Hours come and go Days blur into nights The silence is torture Lost in my mind Fading in and out Your memory Stealing my present I gave you everything You stole pieces of me Never to regain Here comes the sun Longing for better days Covered in harsh rays Closing my eyes I still see […]
I was born into a life no child should ever have to experience.
I have never known a Father’s love but instead a Father’s rage, addiction, violence, and being sexually abused.
I was only 2 when he stole a bigger part of me. I was too young & didn’t understand but was left feeling confused.
I was only 4 when he ripped me apart physically.
Years & years of laughter, love, & joy were not what would be in store for me. Instead i have faced countless surgeries, unbearable pain and eventually heartbreaking infertility.
Through no fault of my own just another thing he took from me.
The physical scars have distorted my body. But it’s the emotional wreckage that has continued to haunt me.
I often wonder what that little girl would have grown up to be.
If only she hadn’t been so viciously stolen from me. She had no time for playtime, fairytales, hopes or dreams.
But instead staying alive & keeping her sanity would be her biggest priority.
You may think she is a survivor & how true that might be But it certainly doesn’t feel that simple with the daily reminders & horrific memories.
I was only 7 when she abandoned me. A mother’s love,that I did not see.
Where was my protector & biggest fan.
The person who was suppose to build me up & tell me I can. Horribly failed me in the short time we had together. I only wished that she could have loved me better. What was so wrong with me that my own birth parents could cause so much damage & destruction. Not stopping to think about how all this would forever affect me.
I continue today living through all the repercussions. What a tragedy at how my life started off to be. All because they put addiction, abuse, violence, wants & selfish needs first instead of me.
Years of therapy, doctors & medication could never replace the shattered pieces of my heart, soul & innocence that they have stolen from me.
No justice was served or consequence for them to bare Although apart they live worry free No second thought of the damage caused to me It is my burden to bare, as they live their life vicariously Wronged yet again through the system, and no justice will ever prevail for me.
The truth never hurts Their lies disgusting Unable to rewrite history Validation arrives on shattered dreams My truth, written for all eternity
Respond to today’s one-word prompt, Jazz. To do this, simply publish a post on your own blog that responds to the prompt, then put the link to your post in the comments. Or write your response in the comments section below.
This feeling is uncomfortable Yet intriguing at the same time Everything inside me is screaming Touch me Walk away Hold me No run Take me Leave me Want me for the beautiful disaster that I am
I’m torn between the depths of this exploration More at peace living just on the surface Fascination compels me to let go and move forward I’m just not sure I can My heart racing I don’t understand Am I overthinking it How would I walk away This could be my chance What am I doing Carelessly falling Or Sucking on the barrel of a loaded gun
I am more accustomed to feeling comfortably numb This is not who I’ve ever been How did I get here Am I really that dumb I’m just being reckless Maybe even stupid I can’t or maybe I don’t want to understand Never have I surrendered Too strong Too loyal Too stubborn Too broken No one would ever love who I really am A beautiful angel A devil within I’ve be hiding so long But he makes me feel weak No one has ever cared I just needed to be who they thought I am It’s all exhausting
My emotions are going crazy Why now I don’t do emotional Fuck how is this happening Why not yesterday I can’t understand Maybe I’ve said too much Perhaps I haven’t said enough Second guessing every word Why did I open up Why did I let him in Will he use it all against me Or will he be the one that finally understands
Be patient but please see I’ve never let anyone this close And the thought of it being gone in an instant is more than I could stand
What is it Why this man Why do I crave him so deeply Drifting between fantasy & reality His lips on mine His hands around my waist He picks me up
There is nothing between us Not even the sunlight could penetrate through the lack of space Against the wall Nothing could break us apart He thrust himself inside me All that can be heard is the moaning Our sweat has intertwined Covering us It’s dripping and slowly tracing my body The raw passion completely consuming us His smell makes me want more
I taste him This is heaven A secret known only to us Days turn to night and we are still completely entangled in one another He devours me completely Never getting enough This is the way I want forever to end