Stuck on Repeat

I’ve never known the love of a father

Never experienced a grandparents love either

People often question why I grow distant or completely disappear

I guess the best answer is, that I’m still trying to find my place in this world

I feel alone

I feel unlovable

After all my own mother abandoned me when I was 7

Not that it matters because she did more damage in the years she was around

I truly feel like an outsider in my own life

People always leave

Love isn’t a guarantee

The days, months & years pass by

Yet I still sit here wondering what the next day will bring

As if my whole world will be changed

You would think by now I would understand that each day is just more of the same

A Continuous cycle of nothing but sinking deeper and self blame

xo

The broken inside of Me