The sun is setting

My mind begins to wander

Dissecting the day

The emotions rush back to me

Sadness

Hopelessness

Despair

Anger

Loneliness

Shame

Unable to count the times I have told myself

They hate you

You will never be good enough

You are a failure

You will always be broken

It’s your fault

They deserve better

He deserves better

You suck at everything

Why can’t you just be better

There are moments of light that soothe the pain, while distracting my thoughts

Casting a ray of sunshine

The intertwining darkness and destruction overlap

Suffocating the light and strength

Mixed emotions

Struggling to just be

As the beauty of the day dips into the darkness of night

Eternally conflicted

Struggling within

I might be lost

Still searching for peace

However, I am thankful to have seen another day

And the beauty of the sunset isn’t lost on me.

August 31, 2018

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